Tuesday, December 27, 2011

......is 2012 ready??????

Me the real me 48yrs old some gray hair(only some)    brown hair closet to my natural color since I dont know when I do however have gray eyelashes and a few gray hair in my left eyebrow one huge deep wrinkle between my eyebrows 40# heavier than what I should be rounder in the middle - big flat butt and yes saggy boobies. Oh how that pains to to admit it.......i even think my feet are shrinking & God knows my who who isn't as pretty as it once was.



Me the me I am in my head 28yrs old no gray wild, silky, shiny red locks of flowing run your fingers thru my hair baby long locks no wrinkles under a buck fifty in the weight category  - a round firm butt a flat middle with a peircing and oh yes perky boobies!  With a beautiful bedazzled who who........



Me the me I aspire to be  in 2012 49 yrs old too soon to say what color my hair will be- I am pretty sure I will still have that deep wrinkle & the gray eyelashes  & eyebrow less rounder in the middle- oh hell yes  smaller flater butt, less jiggle boobies..well thats a lost causepretty sure no matter what once they sag they always sag J...and a few more awesome tatoos....may never have a bedazzled who who...but I sure hope to be able to see it without lifting up my belly....

Every year for the past....40 years I have said  " this is the year I become the me I am suppose to be"  ....how many times have you said or thought the same?  And then I said....this is it....I know I have said it before, but this is it.  haha!   sooo...here it goes...again....

2012 is going to be my year of change.  The year I become ME! The best me possible....after all I am not getting any younger, a couple more years & I will be stepping on those old saggy boobies.  I am going to focus on the things I can change and accept the things that I can't.  I am going to learn how to love myself - good bad & the no so good.  I am going to accept others & learn to love with passion, forgive with an open mind and see the joy in everyday things.   

My plan.....I invite you to join me on my jouney of SELF via my blog.  Maybe I will even inspire you to take a journey within yourself.  In 2012 I am going to blog about all things Lisa - so put on your big girl panties & join me for one hell of a ride.  I have to warn you, I am a bit naughty, alot risque, I have very odd, yet somewhat interesting likes & interests that I do plan to address...hehe    So if you are up for an awesome experience that I garentee will make you blush from time to time.....Join me.....I would love to hear your comments....ok and concerns......and your feadback......

2012......here I come..care to join me?


sarah mclachlan - i will remember you

The Living Proof (From The Motion Picture The Help)

See ya 2011.......................

Wow! 2011 is coming to a close.  Time sure does fly. I have to admit I am happy to see 2011 come to an end. It has been one heck of a year- filled with super highs, extreme lows, heartbreak & joy – that being said…I so look forward to what 2012 has to offer.



Not sure about you, but around this time of year I find myself looking back over the previous year reflecting on the moments & events that shaped the year – these same moments shaped who I am…maybe even who I am becoming.   I like to think about lessons learned - good & bad.  One thing I try not to do is second guess my actions and or decisions.  There is no going back – so beating myself up for things I did or didn’t do have no use.  



2011 offered many wonderful blessings – I have a wonderful supportive sexy hubby, a daughter who brings more joy to my life than I even imagined, not one but two beautiful granddaughters (I have only seen pics of my newest one), a step son who  is figuring out how to get his life together, a new career opportunity, a beautiful home……good health, happy pets…..a good lifeJ



2011 offered many heartbreaks; I shed more tears than in previous years.  On a personal level it was a year where I allowed myself to fall thru the cracks of sorts.  A time in my life when I somehow lost track of who I am- at my most inner core.  It was almost like living outside of me – if that is possible.  The funny part is while it was happening – I knew I was off a bit – but I didn’t even realize I was doing it to myself – yes I allowed myself, even justified & encouraged myself to allow myself to treat or should I say miss-treat myself …. What’s even funnier – looking back at what transpired- when I was at my worse was when I thought all was good…..completely ignoring who I was, what I was……what I wanted or should I say what I thought I needed. What a joke.  Of course in the middle of this – I now refer to that 10 month period of my former life as sleep walking thru life wide awake…lol  



I know you are wondering what the hell?  As you know – if you have been following my blog – I had what I thought to be a very good friend – someone who I shared everything with – I thought of this gal as my best friend – we would be friends well in to our golden years……..keep in mind..being military & having to leave all my friends every time we would PCS….having & holding this friendship was very dear to me – my first real gal pal since moving to Columbus.  So you can imagine my utter shock when out of the blue her hubby calls & says the relationship is over – by the next day I was completely out of her like – as though I never existed.  Nothing.  Notta.  Zilch.



Ok OK I have heard this a million times…..we were never really friends if that’s how it is……friends don’t do friends like that…..do you really want a friend who can do that…blah blah blah……..NOW of course not she was never my friend – hell she was never even a friend to herself – in actually she must be a very sad sad gal.  I wish her no bad intentions – I hope she finds what she seeks.



As in the end or death of anything – humans need a grieving period. Thru my many tears, my anger & my hurt I have come to terms - I will admit I am still saddened by the loss & I do miss  her…….and yes I did learn a lot about people (her), friendship and most importantly about myself.



In the mitts of my self destruction – my hubby of 17 years had his own batter to fight – a battle with himself as well as with me, and of course it overflowed onto Maddie.  It was rough for a long while – angry is an ugly emotion that overflows on to everyone who comes in contact.  I am happy & proud to say Mitch is doing the hard work to get himself in check – I have a pretty good guyJ



Now as 2011 is rolling to an end I think about the person I am & the person I will become in 2012. I think about the changes I want ok need to make within myself, my family, my career, and yes my diet…lol   There are things I need to let go of and things I need to hold tight. For me 2012 is going to be that year of change – the year I make things happen………..I am going to dedicate 2012 to the year I work on becoming my true self.



Have you thought about the twists & turns in your life during 2011? Have you learned from your experiences? Are you looking towards 2012?  Who do you want to be?