Monday, February 27, 2012
Should, Have to & Can't - really ladies?!
I can’t do that! I am so stupid! I will never be able to do that! Why can’t I be as cute or as thin as her?! I am so FAT! What a big butt I have! …..how many times have you heard yourself say that to yourself? Internal dialog is a killer – zaps a person’s self confidence, reinforces self-loathing, holds us back from what we all really want & that is to feel good about ourselves – to be happy with ourselves – to embrace our own self worth – inevitably to love our selves.
One of the worst things that we as women do to ourselves that hinders our peace of mind is the way that we talk to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds. The stress we create within our own mind – we all do it. I do it on a daily basis……even on those rare occasions when I am actually feeling good about myself……not sure why…
I am thinking that if we eliminate three simple words/phases that seem to cut us in two & replace them with three positive words/phases…….
1. SHOULD
2. HAVE TOO
3. CAN’T
…lets erase the above victim words that imply we have no power, no choice………lets replace them with..
1. CHOOSE TOO
2. WANT TOO
3. WILL
Creating an empowering internal dialogue is simple…just not easy. Its it so hard to break old habits….It starts by acknowledging that WE have the power to decide to speak to ourselves in a positive way – can you make the commitment ?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Style, Support & Seduction……Torture?
Some ladies like a bra that hides the “girls” while other (like myself) prefer a bra that shows the “girls “ off. Not to mention padded bra to help the “girls “appear larger. Some bras push the “girls” up, some push the “girls” together…some bras are way more supportive than the men in our lives….some bras we just need to pitch – you know who you are ladies – those wearing old stretched out, discolored, no support, way past their expiration date bras – get rid of the – NOW!
Most men think that a nice bra is a work of art, actually I think most men just like boobies! Women however are not just about the color, or lace, fit, style but about what their bra represents. A girl's first training bra can represent a bridge from childhood to near womanhood. Women of the 70's weren't just burning their bras to stay warm. Many feminists believe bras symbolize repression of the fairer sex.
A single bra represents a moment in the life of the woman. It’s a portrait of how she was at a particular time, age, and shape. The amazing variety of bras and the differences in wear & fabric shows how unique each woman’s body is.
Breasts are often a source of conflicting emotions for women. Our personal body experiences are rarely reflected in the media images we see. A woman may feel ashamed, proud, annoyed, and sexual about her breasts. Almost every woman has a bra story to tell. Some are traumatic, others joyful. Some gals don’t wear bras – oh but they should – we have all seen those ladies out & about – wholly molly – what a sight! Get a bra on lady!
According to the Daily Mail, a recent study showed that the average woman spends $4,000 on bras in her lifetime, and owns about 16 bras at any given time. And then the story goes on to reveal that while we women have enough bras to go at least two weeks without doing laundry, on average we wash them only every two months. "They wear a bra around seven times in two months before washing it, ignoring common stains such as perfume, body lotion, fake tan and sweat." Oh hell NO! I may wear the same bra twice then right in the laundry that baby goes. How gross is that to wear the same bra for weeks without washing it?! Yuuuuck! I have to admit I am one of those women who just throw her bras in the washer & dryer…then I wonder why they don’t last – I know better…but lol
I don’t know for sure but I think I have at least 30 bras…most of which fit & are comfy….I have several colors & styles from basic white to push them girls up to my chin night on the town…lol I do like my “girls” on high beam at all times…lol
How many do you have?
You may be surprised to learn (fromWoman’s Day Magazine) that you need three bras in your bra wardrobe.
Everyday Bra: This is the bra that you will wear the majority of the time. Therefore, this bra should be comfortable and preferably a shade of nude that is similar to your skin tone. That's right, ladies: Get rid of those white bras. White, if worn underneath a white or other light-colored shirt, will be seen because it is a different shade from your body. Nude bras, however, are invisible because they blend in with your body.
Sports Bra: Wearing your everyday bra as a sports bra can be uncomfortable, not to mention the fact that your everyday bra will wear out more quickly. Because a sports bra is generally worn when doing physical activity that is more strenuous than day-to-day movements, finding a sports bra that has extra support will help to reduce pain that might occur during exercise due to some additional bounce.
Strapless Bra: It will serve your wardrobe well to own a bra that you can wear with your sleeveless shirts or any other top or dress in which your bra straps could be visible underneath your clothing. Take care to ensure that the fit on your strapless bra is especially secure around your rib cage—you do not want this to fall down!
A poll in Prima magazine said 38% of men did not know their partners bra size……60% of women did know buy the right bra size…lol How is that possible? While working at Lane Bryant I must have measured hundreds of women – big, small & OMG n- lol – most were wearing the wrong size – way too small! Most had back fat and overflow – I hate that! I really do believe the right bra can change your body. The trick is to find the right bra! Sometimes finding the right bra is harder than finding the right guy….LOL Good luck ladies!!!
the "M" word......eeeek
Its official, there’s no denying it now…..hot flashes, sleepless nights, endless periods, weight gain in my mid section, saggy boobs….oh wait I got those in my late 20’s..lol The “M” word now lives at my house & in my world…or should I say in Mitch & Maddie’s world…they have to deal with all my wonderful craziness….not so sure they would consider my craziness wonderful at this point.
Actually the word is “peri menopausal”…….it’s the time leading up to the change. A few weeks ago I went to the doc for a female physical – I knew things were happening in my body & brain so I wanted the dock to check it out – boy did she – 11 tubes of blood later I found out I had strep in my blood – how that got there we have no idea, a severe vitamin D deficiency and I am peri menopausal. I also have elevated cholesterol (not bad) ..Other than that – all is good.
At this doc appointment I happen to mention my mood swings & lack o sexual desire – who knew- doc said that all part of the “M” word. I thought it was because after working all day, coming home and doing domestic crap who wants to get it on feeling tired…and did I mention a tad bit overweight….ok ok , more than a tad…lol What does a gal do if she doesn’t feel sexy? I am thinking that would make a great blog! Note to self – oh yeah – did I mention forgetfulness is another symptom of the “M” word?! Lol
…..anyway, the doc gave me two prescriptions…..one for my mood & the other for my sexual drive…….not sure if either have kicked in yet…lol I know Mitch is counting the days till they both kick in…. lol
…so after chewing on the idea of living with the “M” word…like I have a choice…lol I decided to face it head on – read & learn as much as I possibly can about it ….I guess you could say I am embracing it. lol
Menopause reset…..that’s that name of the book I am currently reading. It says I can reset my body to offset the many side effects and or changed that are happening due to the “M” word. As I previously mentioned I have decided to face this thing – the “M” word - I am gonna smack it before it gets the best of me.
One thing I have noticed for sure is the sand in my hourglass shape is sticking in the middle. I have always struggled with girth in my mid section, matter of fact – I have always been told I am built like my grandma Aggies family – seems like I come from a long line of apples. But of all places to crazy extra weight the tummy has to be the worst place – of course those with a lot of extra junk in their trunk may disagree with me. I am lucky or should I say blessed to have long legs & arms….however I have to say I have never liked my arms – I never wear sleeveless anything – and last night I caught a glimpse of my upper arms – let’s just say…OMGosh - awful ! I didn’t even recognize them as mine – all I can say is OH HELL NO! I HAVE to do something about those sausages – I mean arms of mine.
Speaking of doing something about my fat arms – my trainer Jen called & left me a message last night – she wanted to know when I would be coming to the gym again………eeeek…….I haven’t been there in a few weeks – I have one excuse after another not to go…I even bought new tennis shoes thinking that would motivate me – NOT!
What does it or what is it gonna take for me to get motivated?
.....who are we.....really?
Who are we? What a question – how do you answer? Why do we feel the need to label ourselves? If you say you don’t you are not being honest – we all label ourselves.
Think about it….how many stay at home moms when asked what they do say I am just a mom or a wife……I for one thought of myself as a military spouse for years – when Mitch retired I didn’t know who I was or who I was supposed to be. I was lost – took me a long time to get over it – I still struggle with it – I identified myself as a military wife – that’s who I was day in and day out for many years – then one day poof – I was no longer a military wife – I was living as a civilian.
Longing to find myself – LOL I hate when people use that phrase – but for lack of a better phrase – longing to find myself or better needing to figure out who I was going to be after life as a military wife…..
I was lucky enough to land in a confy somewhat familiar job as a defense contractor – it was very easy transition because of my familiarity with the military & my military mentality. During that period of my life I identified myself as a defense contractor – that’s who I was. When that job ended after 4 years I was devastated..
– once again found myself in a situation where I was lost – I felt like I was not only no longer a military wife nor a defense contractor…I was lost…….once again.
Over the following year I immersed myself into my home, my yard & my garden……..Mitch & Maddie where busy living their lives to really notice me flittering around. Over that time period we had the nicest yard, most beautiful flowerbeds and a killer garden not to mention my house was immaculate & I never had dirty laundry…lol In my mind I needed to be perfect to feed my own self worth - or should I say my lack of self worth?!
It was at that time that I stared this blog – of course back then it was just about gardening & cooking……I like to say I have evolved……kinda lol. Yes from time to time I am somewhat nasty...hehe....but thats me - sorry if I offend you. I am who I am.
Once again lady luck knocked on my door & a job appeared out of the blue for me – close to home & doing somewhat what I did previously as a defense contractor. I am happy to say I am still a contractor & my company just extended my contract for another 6 months – yippee!
Who are we? Are we are jobs? Our vocation on life? I know how I have felt each time one of my many jobs ended – the sense of loss, the nervousness of the unknown….the one thing I always had was a safety net – Mitch, so now as I watch the changes occurring in Mitch’s career I can only imagine how he is feeling.
To go from being a career soldier, and the humbling feeling of taking any job to have a job, then to land the career job thinking this was gonna be end all be all to have the rug pulled out from under you & have to enter that job search phase all over again……I know he will come out of this even better than ever with a job he likes – there is no doubt – I still cannot imagine his frustration, anger, nervousness, etc.
The one thing I do know is he now is struggling with who he is……I am here to tell you he is so much more than his J O B – he is a loving & supportive husband who adores his children & grandchildren, a man who has a passion for right & wrong, a man willing to do what he needs to take care of his family. We are very lucky to call Mitch the head of our familyJ
So……right now, if asked who I am………I am Mitch’s wife, one who supports him in whatever & however he decides to move forward!
.......6 more months
……looks like I will continue to be part of the working class for the next 6 months – my company extended my contact till Sept 2012. I am thrilled to have a J O B…..but there was a small part of me thinking how nice it would be to going back to a summer of domestic goddessness……lol I like my job & the folks I work with – so extending my contract is a good thing not only for me but my purse!!! $$$$ = YIPPEEEE!!!
Not sure it ya know it or not, but I am on and have been on a shopping Hyades since the first of the year. I am not buying any clothes, shoes, purses, accessories, etc…all the things I love. So far I am doing great. I get my fashion fix from In Style magazine…or should I say my fashion bible…lol I did this once before a while back – I went 6 months!
Gratitude....
…my weekday morning ritual is to read a couple of pages of this wonderful book of women’s meditations….this morning there was a quote that really hit me. “Gratitude is the yeast if life is the bread” hmmmmm….. I read this a few times, even went back & reread it….interesting & profound.
I think it is very easy to say we are grateful for all the wonderful things in our lives, but how many of are truly are grateful?! How many of us take the good stuff in our lives for granted? How many of us actually take the time to think about what we are actually grateful for? Our lives seems to be so busy with work, family obligations that the days turn into weeks and then months go by and we think damn I was gonna do that or I should do that…..that’s just life is guess.
My meditation books says that we need to concentrate on the positive things in our lives, be grateful for what we have in turn if we are truly grateful we open ourselves up to accepting more love, more positive thoughts and happenings. Years ago a book came out called the Gratitude Journal by Sara somebody – I probably still have the book – it’s a great book - makes you look at your life, what you are grateful for in your life & how to create a life filled with gratitude. I remember I was doing the daily exercises in this book while we were living in Germany, Maddie was just little – if I remember correctly it did help me feel better at the time…but as everything …I either lost interest or got too busyL
So I was thinking….what am I truly grateful for in my life…... Do you have a list?
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