Alicia Keys - Superwoman

.....call me Hazel

..as I sit here looking around my somewhat messy house..trying to get motivated to get off my butt & clean this house......let me just clarify...my house is not dirty....anyone can stop by at anytime & my house will be clean..neat & orderly.......however there was a time not so long ago..like 2yrs ...that I seemingly was obsessed with cleaning my house..call it what you will...sickness..boredom...whatever.... somehow I developed this problem of being overly stressed by the condition of my house...inside & outside....

....it was a sickness I tell you....who in their right mind stresses out because all the forks in the silverware drawer are not placed in the same direction.....lol....I would vacuum daily...keep in mind I do have pets in the house that drag dirt in........heaven forbid there be a something on my carpet...I could not relax till I vacuumed again....dishes rarely..if ever were left in the sink....I would run the dishwasher a couple of times a day....no wonder my damn water bill was so high...go figure...lol.. lets not talk about laundry...other than the fact that at times I was taking clothes right off my families back right into the washer......

...I have seen this  picture on FB that said “ A clean house is the sign of a wasted life”....I laugh when I see this.....you know the person who originally said this had a very messy..Cluttered house.......those who have a very clean house .....like I used to have......take this as an insult....I for one can say keeping my house in tip top shape was not a waste of time....nor a waste of my life.....I took great pride in my surrounds....yes yes yes...my family barely noticed..not even when I wore my little french maid outfit.....and of course made fun of my obsessive behavior....by damn it...it made me happy & it filled my day!

.....when I returned to work outside the home....life changed...a little....the first year.....I still maintained the picture perfect home....as time went on....I would do less & less....house was still clean and somewhat organized.....I spent most of my time bitching about no one helping around the house...in their defense...their lack of give a shit to cleaning...picking up...etc...was my fault......I trained them ....all those years of me doing EVERYTHING....what the hell was I thinking???

.....the second year of me working outside the house.....my hubby was off work....so after a few...ok...more like many come to Jesus and or bitch slap conversations.....he took over the household chores..............which was great......but he refused to waer my french maid outfit....the hard part was I had to let go of the control....he was doing it & I had to lean to look the other way & let him do it his way...which by the was ALL wrong...lol....actually...just not how I would do it....but he did it......he was a great help....there is NOTHING sexier than a man doing housework!!!

...now.....at least for a few weeks I am at home full time......then last 2 weeks I have not accomplished anything....well...I have held down the sofa.....its is my favorite place to nap.....lol....my attitude regarding my cleaning obsession...addition...whatever the hell it was....I seem to have lost it.....whenever I start to clean ....actually before I start to clean...I think about all the things I would rather be doing...FB...napping...watching TV...blah blah blah....

...but....today...of course I have been saying today all week...and even a couple of times last week.....I have to clean my house.....the clock is ticking...we are having company this weekend & I NEED to have a clean house.....ok...ok..more like a house that appears to be clean..organized ...and clutter free......I hope they don’t  any closets.....

.....well...call me Hazel as I put on my french maid outfit and frilly apron and get busy...... 

Beyoncé - Naughty Girl

French Dressing...

French Dressing

A poem

by Charles M Green

It's the gift wrap on the present,
the garnish on the plate,
It's the exotic spice for the sweet vice
you love to contemplate.

It's the bottle that contains the wine,
the veil that hides the face;
It's the fog that shrouds the valley
in a mist of sheerest lace.

It's the pleasure in the morning
that you savour in the night;
It's those slinky satin secrets
you keep hidden for delight.

It's the subtle flash of stocking top
held tight by garter strap;
It’s the slender strip of silk chemise
That baits the tender trap.

It's a way to tempt your lover
when you don't know what to say,
It’s all this whispered in one word;
that word is ... lingerie.

…brief encounters

 ….if you spend any time with me at all you have to know by know that I have an infatuation with all things fashion…call it a sickness…call it an obsession…call it a hobby…don’t care – I LOVE ALL THINGS FASHION…..all the way down to my panties…drawers…knickers…whatever you wanna call them….well…..ok most of us wear a panty from time to time……from white cotton granny panties to the skinniest of G-strings……

…I am sure you are thinking I am a whack-o for putting so much thought into underpants…..but actually it is something that everybody knows about…has an opinion about…and a preference regarding style, fit & color….undergarments have been peeping out of pants for years……but for the most part..Intimate apparel….undies…remains somewhat of an unmentionable……yes yes yes…I know …our undies are private & personal….but yet we see them on billboards…TV..magazines…..so I say……let’s talk underwear!

…so what’s in your underwear drawer????  I am so sure….all…ok most women have the same sort of undies……let’s just think about what the normal woman needs……and  owns…even if she won’t admit it…..lol… of course we all own what I like to refer to as “period panties”…you know the ones ladies….you save them babies for that one special week each month…..no matter what you do….those damn stains just don’t wash out……hence…the “Period Panties”

…awww but don’t confuse the period panties with the saggy..baggie…ripped..stretched  out elastic….comfy..no way you are getting laid tonight granny panties……..these are the ones we keep because they are so comfy….they are like a friend…..they cover your ass…mostly lol.  Each time we put the old faithful comfy rags…I mean panties on….we say to ourselves….I am gonna throw these away…but yet they still end up in our underwear drawer clean & ready to comfort us once again.

…one of my least favorites…but so necessary……the high cut…tummy sucking …butt lifting ….no budge…panty shaper briefs…..I do believe whoever invented these babies did not like women….although a gal needs these to hold it all together…..especially when you are a bit bloated…..from alcohol consumption of course…lol….a gal wears these to work..Under dress pants…skirts…whenever you feel you need to keep it tight & be unfomfy…..I have to say they do prevent muffin top…..but don’t expect to get laid sporting  this foundation garments.

….my favorite…as I am sure many ladies favs….I like to call then my “girlfriend panty”….you wear these panties anytime there is a slight chance that someone ……might catch a glimpse of your panties…..like when you are in the dressing room…at exercise class..at the gym…..you certainly don’t want your friends to think you wear stained….ripped…unattractive panties do ya? NO!  There are such a variety of GF panties….boy cut..hipster…low-rise….bikini….tap pants..etc.  Whatever your preference….I happen to be a fan of the cotton club……when you are busy doing things & you are trying to keep the southern hemisphere healthy and dry…the cotton club is the way to go.

…of course we all own the “date” panties…….these pretty panties are worn in the hopes that someone…..hehe…may see them….they are the pretty panties…..silky fabrics..pretty details…usually you have a bra that matches…..just a sweet little ensemble that is seen..or even touched…hehe…will tease and entice…..but yet no guarantee……your date thinks this must be your normal every day undies…yeah right mister.  Lol

….the “thong song”….you know what I am talking about….some of us love them…some of us tolerate then…some of us refuse to wear them……one thing is for sure….when I am sporting dental floss up the great divide…..I better get laid……isn’t that why they invented thongs???  Don’t give me that panty line things…blah blah blah…..I just have to say it again…if I am pulling & readjusting  my thong all night…I better get more than dinner & drinks..just sayin….lol

…my understanding is that the average woman owns 14 pairs of underwear…..from an early age we all know that underwear have a little naughtiness surrounding them….think about it…getting pants-ed….wedgies….or  what about  London..France….and I see your underpants…..we all remember that…yes undies are there to cover & protect out private parts….they are tempting because they hide what’s beneath….a suggestion…not a promise…sorry guys..lol 

…what a woman wears on the inside counts….even if you are the only one that knows it…it doesn’t matter….when a  gal wears gorgeous undies…no matter the style….you feel good…..sometimes sexy….no matter how we feel about our bodies…when we present it in a way that you  feel beautiful…..you are a stunner!  So…next time you have one of those moments when you feel  ON- those days when you carry an extra little spark & people take notice……it could be the undies you are rockin!

The Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha (Control Room)

....one of my favorite....and naughty posts from 2011

......a month or so ago while at the local library I discovered a book on the history of women's lingerie..I know I know...you are thinking I should be reading books about cooking, sewing , gardening ....all the domestic bliss crap....but this book caught my eye. I have this fascination with retro undies.......WTF? Yep I admit it! Hold on a sec - don't think that I have a bunch of crotch rotted old panties laying around...lol I did however have a vast collection of vintage clothing and accessories I wore religiously in my 20's. Damn I wish I still had all those things....

...anyways........so I am reading this book, which I found to be fascinating & was left with the desire ( haha good word choice huh?!) to read more........who knew the public library offered such a huge collection of similar books.....ok......maybe I am reaching, but in my mind a similar subject would be fetishes ...of course. What else could it be I ask??? I have to say I had no idea there were so many books out on the subject of fetishes......you name it, people do it......some people must even have a book fetish because some of the pages stuck together....eeeek. Yes I had to go there - always right to the gutter! lol

What is a fetish? How do I know if I have a fetish? What about you? Do you have a fetish? (oh do tell!!! I would be happy to blog about it - hehe) Ok so I am thinking I have this fascination with vintage lingerie....so no doubt I have a fetish...right? Or do I? I love shoes, especially red high heeled pumps that scream F#$@ me (hehe) ...does that mean I have a shoe fetish? I enjoy wearing sexy undies.....is that another one of my many fetishes? What about swizzle stix......is that a fetish? Ropes? Canned food? Fetishes???? I love to surround myself with flowers, music, boys, food.........could I have a fetish for each of those? I think not....ok ......being surrounded by boys is a little bit fetishy...hehe (Oh hell yes Mrs. Robinson) LOL Am I a fetish freak? I decided it's time to grab the bull by the horns and check this fetish stuff out........where else but cyber space!

 

Fetish : "a reliance on a prop, body part, scene, or scenario in order to get off sexually. The prop can either be fantasized or exist in actuality."

hmmmmmmmmm....I am saddened (or should I say excited )to say the fetishes I previously mentioned are really not fetishes for me. Not once have I gotten off while wearing any vintage lingerie, nor while in my flower garden, or cooking......the red high heeled F$#%@ me pumps on the other hand...lol (we'll save that story for another blog) hehe. So anyone who really knows me, and knows how down right trashy I can be..ok you know I am.......also knows I have to continue down the fetish road to learn more...discover more .....maybe even try some ( ok try more..hehe). No worries Mitch - I won't try anything new without trying it on your first. Love ya honey!

Back to fetishes..........my new favorite subject or should I say hobby lol. Some folks like being tied up, (hmmmm....i think I could be the tie-er-upper, not the tie-ee.) Come on.. everyone has thought about it at least once.......but how many of ya have just decided to give in, grab a couple of neck ties and tie your sweety up & have your way with him????? Or visa versa Try not to forget the candle wax......hmmm yet another fetish. lol. Some folks enjoy being gagged, ( nope - not one of my favs......you all know I need to be able to talk) whipped ( not my cup of tea, however I do know a few folks who could use a good whopping) or spanked ( hmmm....let me get back to ya on this one..)....for me it makes a big diff if I am the spanker or the spankee...lol

 

Of course you can't forget those who like to be covered in PC (kinda cool - let me think about that........do you think it would make me look thinner? If so I am sooooo in!)....I also wonder what colors are available....could be fun! Raise your hand if you have ever tried nipple clamps......ok now that you have experienced the chill that memory gave ya...good bad or other wise...lol I have heard using nipple clamps is just so over the top intense, highly recommended.......so of course I had to go out and buy some..........not just any old plain set...oh hell no.....mine have fancy purple stones...mine are a multi purpose sexual accessory. I am such a girly girl!!! I love it! Some other fetishes would be like being kissed in a certain way and or location, or being scratched, just to name a few. Not everyone ( most people) have something that really turns then on be it weird or normal.

So as I spent endless hours in the cyber world surfing for fetishes, I tell you I saw some freaky stuff out there - (No worries Mitch - we aren't gonna try everything......at least not yet. hehe) I actually learned allot - yes I am still capable of learning - especially sex stuff lol. Did you know that sexual fetishism is when an "article of desire" is necessary for sexual arousal or satisfaction. The article could be lingerie, shoes,(love the shoe thing) leather garments or underwear.( I am thinking leather undies would really make the who who sweat - need I say more?? fishy fishy fishy) The fixation also could be with a body part - breasts or feet are popular. Some less famous categories of fetishes include fat, blood, diapers, pee and poo. ( YUCK!) People with fetishes are known as fetishists - who knew?! I must have missed that day at school. To be honest I did get a D in my sex ed class in 8th grade. Seriously.

Seems a pair of high heels is a very popular fetish, its right up there with feet and toes. Who doesn't like to have their toes sucked on??! Note to self - ALWAYS have pedicured toes just in case someone offers to suck on your toes...lol....just saying. How many people think about someone else during sex with their partners? As well as imagining famous faces - lets just say The Rock and I have been together on a number of occasions....hehe. The acceptance of images and icons from the secretive world of S/M fantasy - dominatrixes,( oh hell yes- I could play is roll in a heartbeat....all I need is a sub..hmmm) bondage heroines, damsels in distress - have helped make fetish fantasy pretty popular.Corsets,(love love love corsets - maybe its yet another fetish of mine lol) thigh-high black stockings, leather catsuits, and second-skin rubber. Kinky clothes formerly seen only within sexual subcultures are worn by many.

One of my all time fav - Bettie Page (April 22, 1923 – December 11, 2008) was an American model who became famous in the 1950s for her fetish modeling and pin up photos. She has often been called the "Queen of Pinups. The Mistress of Fetish!

 

"I was not trying to be shocking, or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time. I didn’t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn’t know any other way to be, or any other way to live."Bettie Page

So really in a nut shell ( or at this point would nut sack be a better term?? lol) fetishes are just other preferences of a kinky - ya gotta love kinky! So now I am thinking about sexual preferences.....
Sadomasochism. Sadists (pain-givers) and masochists (pain-receivers), and their punishing sex play is referred to as sadomasochism, or S&M. Whipping and spanking are two common ways to inflict punishment during sex. One time I was at a bar and this gal yelled across the bar to a fella sitting at the bar....."hey mister - I wanna F$#% you skinny". I laughed my butt off........but now that I think about it - I am wondering if she is a sadist..lol

Exhibitionism. Some people get off by showing what God gave them to the world. Here is a question......are strippers or exotic dancers exhibitionist? Do they get off by doing the pole? What about gals like myself who like to show some...ok ok alot of cleavage...am I being an exhibitionist.......or just just a gal with da big boobies??? hmmmmm

Voyeurism. This one cracks me up...come on whether we admit it or not we all have sneaked a little peek before....sometimes it like a train wreck..you just can't look away...lol

Swinging and Group Sex. Some couples consciously choose to involve other people in their sex play by participating in: A mènage à trois (a couple adds a third person to the mix); wife swapping (two couples trade partners); swinging (a group of couples meets and exchanges partners among themselves); or group sex, or an orgy (a group of strangers all join the sexual adventure). Ok them. Well....hmmmmm Where do I sign up? lol What do you think Mitch? Can we? Can we?? Just once??? Or maybe twice?? lol

I know I just touched the surface of fetishes.....it is a fascinating somewhat secret world...I might just wanna be a part of it.....maybe just a small part...lol Oh wait did I mention I am an all or nothing kinda gal?? lol Looking back...I am pretty sure I have tried my fair share of kinky off the wall kinda stuff...but does that make me a weirdo? Am I not as normal as you? Or am I just willing to put it out there???

Top Tracks for Joshua Kadison (playlist)

....couple-friends……..does it enhance your relationship??

…looking back over the years…in both of my marriages…lol…..we have always had couple-friends to hang with…to go out to dinner…play cards…enjoy sporting events…etc etc etc…do I think hanging out with others couples enhance the relationship with my hubby????  Uh….maybe..maybe not…..

…..does hanging out with couple friends do a relationship good?   There are some who say couples spending time with couple-friends helps both couples build a closer connection to their other half……I was reading an article about a study done in the 1980’s….it says that couples with a lot of shared friends were happier in their relationship & a greater chance of staying together… I am not sure exactly what the connection between couple-friends and long term relationships…

...what is the connection…maybe double-dating requires each half of a couple to get dressed up….physically & emotionally……sometimes when a couple  have been together for a long time each forgets to treat their partner as well as they  treat other people…..we all know when we are out with another couple we are always on our best behavior..or are we…..

…I kinda wonder if hanging with other couples can be harmful to your relationship…..think about it…..how many wives have said to their hubby….. after a couple date”…..”why don’t you open the car door for me” …blah blah blah…….lol…come on we have all experienced the downside….

 

…..I do have to say that we are very lucky to have some wonderful couple friends who we enjoy & share a lot of laughs & good times……its always fun getting together with other couples….as well as just the two of us

…..one thing I know for sure…..taking your sweetie for granted isn’t good for couple-dom…….no matter how many friends you have……or don’t have.

 

 

International Women's Day 2011