.....my passion

Cyndi Lauper - Beautiful and emotional.....Cyndi cries as she performs T...

......let me tell you

Slipping Through My Fingers - Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried

........my daughter....a senior!

...just what a girl needs in the suitcase

My Little MoMo
 

…well its official….the little girl I carried in my belly is a senior in high school….her first day of her senior year  started today….I am excited  & happy for her……but I also know this year will fly by..before ya know it I will be sending her off to college…..there is not a doubt in my mind that she will succeed at whatever she puts her mind to…she is destined to do great things with her life……I just know it!



The day we came home from the hospital

…life is a journey for sure….MoMo’s (my daughter) journey started with a quick push  & a team of docs taking care of here…she came into this word blue & not breathing…the cord had wrapped around her neck during the slip & slid of the birthing canal…but it sure didn’t take her long to exercise those lungs….hearing her cry for the first time was like angels singing……and so MoMo’s journey begins….

 

Germany

...bring Mo’Mo home to military housing for the first time was so exciting & nerve wracking……I didn’t know what to do with a new baby……she would latch on so I didn’t did the breast feeding thing…..MoMo was like a little doll…..I dressed her up every day….sometimes she would wear several little cutie outfits…..she was such a good baby…..the middle of the night bottles where such a special time…we rocked out to Reba’s song Fancy……however I did change the words to poor white military trash & Fancy was her name……every time I hear that song I  am right back there in that moment.

Ft Belvoir



Ft Meade

……by the 9^th month of MoMo’s journey she was rocking & bopping down the hallways of a military guesthouse in Germany….at 2yrs old she was living & going to pre-school in Monterey CA…..at 4yrs old she did pre-school in VA….at 6yrs old she was a first grader in northern CA……MoMo had dipped her toes in both the Atlantic & the Pacific oceans…..traveled by plan….trains….lived in Europe…..visited zoos & aquariums…and indoor water parks from the west coast to the east coast & back again…..lived in to many different hotels MoMo refereed to them as “home-tells” ……was by her dad’s side when he reenlisted & retired.   

 

…if you really think about it…MoMo’s has experienced more of a life journey than many many adults….and she has just begun…..life is hers for the taking. 

 My daughter – my heart – my love – my life.

Cyndi Lauper - Sisters Of Avalon

....YEP!

nah-mas-tay

Cyndi Lauper- Water's Edge Lyrics

~~~~heartache

Cyndi Lauper Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

......expectations

…why is it that our expectations can bring us great joy & happiness and also create such heartache?  Expectations are NOT created equally that’s for damn sure…its funny how they take on a life all their own…good ..bad ..or otherwise….yes there are expectations that are realistic & normal…everyone has them…you know things like you expect your car to start in the morning…..or you expect your expect  your jeans are going to be un-comfy after eating a bunch of junk the night before……

 

……but when something or someone doesn’t do what we expected….its shocks the shit out of us….we come to think of our expectations as the futures reality…..I guess the universe has other ideas….lol….we base our expectations on hopes…probable outcomes according to us….the way we each see it…for me I seem to base my expectations on the world I have created …I guess in my head...my idea of right & wrong…or how things should be…..all according to me….

 

…life is unpredictable….making expectations simply based on what I think is pretty dangerous…setting myself up hurt…frustration & disappointment…….is that really fair? …What makes me think I was the one who could decide how things…..how people should feel…thing and behave…….hmmmmmm……is that the key……did I just have an epiphany???

…in actuality….I am ONLY responsible for MY expectations…they are ONLY my beliefs…not reality……so really expectations could be a form of control over others…..it’s like a form of manipulations…..no one really wants to let a friend down by falling short of their expectations…..

…time to look after my own well-being….take responsibility for my own expectations……and let others take responsibility of their own expectations….in essence……by doing so I am disempowering my expectations by taking responsibility  is really truly a form of self-empowerment.

 

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.

- The Gestalt Prayer - Fritz Perls

Carrie Underwood - Good Girl

.....being 50

decluttering....an inside job for sure

 …they say a clean & organized closet benefits a chick in many ways…..better utilization of space…all your  stuff is organized & accessible….ya know what ya have……most of all an organized closet adds harmony to a chick’s mental wellbeing…….oh hell yes it does….

I truly believe our outer world is a reflection of our inner world….it’s the energy it carries into the universe…for me the thought of cleaning & organizing …most of all getting rid of a ton of stuff overwhelmed & stressed me out…it was so much easier to close the closet door & not think about it…..but I still thought about it….a lot

…..once I bit the bullet …cleaned & organized my closet…I found it to be a deeply therapeutic & fulfilling experience…..go ahead & laugh!  It shocked the shit out of me too!   I  donated a ton of stuff…it was more than trash bags of clothes…it was “metal baggage”…..I felt like a new gal…empowered & organized !!

…I didn’t realize downsizing..cleaning & organizing my closet would stir up so many emotions……at the same time I felt free…more in control of my surroundings…I felt ashamed & somewhat embarrassed by the amount of clothes I actually owned…how can a chick need so much…....it was a very humbling…over whelming feeling of shame…it was hard….I didn’t realize I would  feel like that till I actually saw the number of each type of clothes I owned…..it was awful.         ~18 full bags of clothes ~

…I did feel a sense of accomplishment……and clarity having streamlined my wardrobe……all of a sudden I had breathing room…. I have read that your space speaks volumes about you…..it reflects your energy..your mood & your outlook on life……I sooooo agree…I was (ok am) a shit sandwich.

…my closet was packed with so many clothes I couldn’t  see what I owned….from a feng shui perspective our homes mirror our emotional state…..my closet is proof that I am one big wack-a-doodle……clutter is just stagnant energy….I DO NOT want stagnant energy in my home or my life…that’s for damn sure!  When all the nooks & crannies are filled with clutter….there’s no room for any new energy…positive energy needs room to come into my world…

 …seems to be…..at least for me a tangible relationship between de-cluttering  & manifesting to the life I desire….it’s like when I am blocked with all this stuff  I get stuck in a rut…..its such a negative which impacts my energy…my attitude…my effeteness…..zaps it all….sucks the life out of me...

 …all this de-cluttering closet downsizing thing got me thinking……what else needs to be eliminated for me to live into my fully realized life…the life I desire…..am I eating right?  ….exercising?...getting enough rest?.....work/life balance?......am I doing things in my life to  stay positive? …creativity?....learning?....expressing gratitude & generosity?...passion?......am I surrounded by positive people?....it saddens me to know that I have to say no to all or most of those things…..how sad is that? 

......the question is......what am I gonna do now????????

 ..de-cluttering is defiantly an inside job!

.......bestest day

Lorrie Morgan- Dear Me

..... give-a-sh*t

…I have spent many endless hours thinking about how to simplify my life…make it drama free & less complied…hence the huge closet clean out ( be sure to check out that blog entry coming soon)..I have been reevaluating my friendships…my commitments….relationships with my family  & most importantly the relationship I have with myself…..which of course is the lost complex…lol

…before I dry up & turn to dust…I am 51 ya know…I wanted to share some lessons I have learned along the way…seems the older I get the less give-a-sh*t I have…I kinda think that’s one of the best things about getting older…you don’t give-a-sh*t…most of all you don’t give-a-sh*t about who cares…lol!

1..hanging out with myself….if a chick can’t be alone with herself there is a real problem…..I remember always hanging with my bff in school…wouldn’t be caught dead at the roller rink w/o her….used to talk on the phones all hours of the day & night….those were the days…at this stage in the game…I still enjoy hanging & chatting with my bff…but I do enjoy my “me” time……I have no problem going to dinner…a movie…shopping..whatever all by myself….I like it…I don’t give-a-sh*t what anybody thinks…..as far as I am concerned I am cool hanging with me....most days.....I do have those days when I get on my own nerves...lol

2..reading those crazy as articles in Cosmo on how to please your man in the sack.....I remember a time when I would buy the magazine just for that article....OMG I thought I needed to be in the "know'.....well this old chick doesn't give-a-sh*t.....at this stage of the game if I don't know what to do to please my man than shame on me....I could always just ask him...or better yet..tell him...maybe even show him.....if he is lucky....wink wink....nod..nod ;-)

3...yes..I swallow....my pride that is..haha...when need be...I apologize I mean it..a good dose of humility is good for a soul......by no means am  I a push over....I don't give-a-sh*t if I am right..or if I know more or less than others...just don't care....I bite my tongue when need be & flap my lips when the rest of the time....my ego & I are no longer is a love hate relationship.....I have learned to get over myself...

4....all humans are flawed in one way or another...trying to be perfect...I don't give-a-shit about it anymore....its just never gonna happen....perfection - not for me......the days of doing my hair & make up to go to the grocery store...long past.....hiding the fact that I poop from my hubby....pleazzze......life is a mysterious wonderful thing....everyone has their own issues.....I focus on being the best version of me I can be.....yes...I wear my flaws proudly....

..I am sure if I thought about it I know I could come up with a few more ....its funny how age changes how we feel & react to events/people in our lives.....we learn what is truly important & what is just plain SH*T!

.....style

........this is an older post I found...not sure if I ever published it or not.....

 

…everyone has their own style of  everything from the way they sign their name to the way they fold their undies….it’s what makes us different or unique….lately I have been things about my personal style…more specific…my  signature fashion style…..I have always had a passion for passion…goes back to my Barbie dolls…I loved playing Barbie’s..changing their clothes…I used to spend hours& hours dressing them & undressing…

 

….as I became a teenager and packed my Barbie dolls away I loves shopping for clothes…I read all the Teen magazines…all the catalogs…as a young adult I played with a few different looks…not so sure I would call it fashion….lol…. I did everything from the leather & lace Cyndi Lauper  look…to the half shaved Boy George hairstyle…..I also spent years sporting the cotton button down & penny loafers….then there was the skin tight jeans I had to lay on the bed & use pliers to pull up the zipper…..sad but true…..then of course there was the professional look of the power suit with the matching hose & shoes……

 

…..after my daughter was born I sported some extra weight….my daily uniform was legging& oversized shirts…..I kinda lost…or better yet misplaced my passion for fashion…my focus was my daughter & being a mommy…..I returned to work after a 6 yr hiatus…it didn’t take long for me to rekindle that fashion spark…..back then I was kinda caught up in the mind set of what a mom should wear…..kinda frumpy…..sad but true….I sported that loom for about a year..

 

…I landed a job as an assistance manager of a Lane Bryant store…..the fashion sparks flew…..unfortunately they flew in all different directions….I tried so many looks…some worked…some were just down right sad….I was never afraid of fashion….so in the end it all worked…..I was all over the fashion spectrum for a while…it has taken several years for me to find my signature style…….to be honest I am still a work in progress…I am trying to fine tune my style….I still take fashion risks….I just seem to struggle with the idea of downsizing my wardrobe…

 

…yesterday I cleaned & organized my closet…an overwhelming task…..but I did it…..in case you didn’t know…2013 has been my Thrift Store Fashion Challenge…..I only bought clothing..accessories..etc from thrift stores….don’t freak…I bought undies & bras BRAND NEW! …anyway…I did great from Jan till Nov…didn’t bother me at all…actually had fun & let me tell you nothing tastes better than saving a buck & finding an awesome outfit – dirt cheap!  ..I did however fall off the wagon a couple of weeks ago…a moment of weakness…..I bout a couple of tops & a couple pair of jeans..they were on sale…lol  …I have to say I have done pretty well up till that point..

 

…now I have a closet….actually two closets…and several drawers…plus a few under the bed storage bad full of clothes…….so I am thinking I have way too much….so I am thinking it is time to rethink this…this meaning….my accumulation of clothes& accessories…..what is my signature style…..how do I achieve the signature style I want…..hmmmmmm…….

 

 

 …I read an article in Real Simple magazine…www.realsimple.com….I love the name..real & simple…..two of my favorite words…lol…..here is what I learned & I wanna share….also here is a really cool printable assessment sheet to help you find your signature style….

http://www.realsimple.com/static/pdfs/never-buy-wrong-thing-worksheet.pdf

 

 Take a serious assessment of your overall current style, deciding if you are traditional, modern, fashion-forward, casual, hippie natural, etc.

1.     Determine what you are trying to accomplish with your signature style -- to be more memorable, develop an always chic look or have more fun with fashion.

2.     Study famous tastemakers -- everyone from Karl Lagerfeld with his ponytail and fan to Carrie Donovan and her oversized glasses, black clothes and blond hair.

3.     Don't hesitate to imitate a look and make it your own, making sure it fits into your current style and personality.

4.     Decide what you would be most comfortable changing -- your hair, wardrobe colors or accessories.

5.     If you're choosing a striking new hairstyle or color, try the new look in stages to see how it works.

6.     If you are choosing a bold new wardrobe color, start by incorporating it as a shirt, tie or scarf color to see how well it works for you.

7.     Relying on accessories -- sunglasses, big pins, bright hosiery or vintage handbags -- is a safe, easy and inexpensive way to start a personalized look.

8.     Experiment and alter your signature style piece as you grow more confident.

9.    Once you have the groove of your signature look, be sure to change your supporting wardrobe frequently enough so that you don't look the same everyday. 

Tips:

1.     Use your signature style to camouflage flaws or draw attention to your best features.

2.    Try not to cross the fine line between signature style and affectation

3.    A signature look can be something as sentimental as a charm bracelet or as breezy as brightly colored pantyhose -- just make sure it feels like you and fits your personality and lifestyle. 

 

 

Define Your Signature Style

Create a signature look and avoid buyer’s remorse with this four-step plan.

Step 1: Identify What’s Working

You probably have a handful of go-to pieces you instinctively reach for when you want to look put-together. Now imagine having a rack full of them. The first step toward achieving that goal is figuring out what makes those favorites. so, well, favored, says Amy E. Goodman, the author of Wear This, Toss That  “Pull out the five things you would wear every day if no one was keeping track,” she says. Choose something in each clothing category: tops, pants, dresses, and skirts. Then ask yourself a few questions about each piece How would you describe the item? Crisp and tailored? Soft and ruffly?

·        What image does it project? Smart and professional? Edgy and fashionable?

·        What color is it? Does the shade brighten your complexion?

·        What fabric is it made of?

·        What is the silhouette like? Nipped at the waist? Flowing and hip-grazing?

·        What parts of your body does it accentuate?

·        What parts of your body does it de-emphasize? Is it comfortable?

Your answers reveal: Your style barometer. Use your notes to help pinpoint what you like. “Be careful of buying replicates,” says Goodman. You may learn you prefer darks and flared shapes, but you need only one good pair of black bootcuts. “Think of it as nailing down a signature look, not getting into a rut,” she says.

 Step 2: Analyze Your Mistake….Like rehashing a bad relationship, this cringe-inducing ( yet cathartic) exercise helps ensure that you don’t go down the same dead ends again. Ready? Take out five things you wish you hadn’t bought and ask yourself the questions in step one, plus the questions below. Then let go of those items, plus anything else that’s not pulling its weight—even if it still has its tags or it will be perfect once you lose 10 pounds or you have friends who throw fancy parties. “Your wardrobe should reflect who you are now,” says Kendall Farr, the author of Style Evolution  “Don’t hang on to images of what worked for you 10 or 20 years ago.”                      

·        Do you have anywhere to wear this?

·        Is it high-maintenence?

·        Does it make you feel old and frumpy? Or young and silly?

·        Is it poor quality?

·        Did you buy it for the thrill of the bargain?

·        Did you buy it only because it was trendy?

·        Was it a panic purchase for a big event?

·        Does the color make you look pale? Yellow? Ruddy?

Your answers reveal: Your shopping blind spots. (Write down details about your mistakes so you never waste another cent falling into the same trap.) If your favorite pieces are tailored and crisp, that’s why you’re not reaching for the ruffled chiffon top. If sales or the newest trends are your weakness, you don’t have to give up clearance racks or Forever 21. But you will want to hold firm to your “likes” and “dislikes” lists.

 

 Step 3: I.D. the Missing Pieces in Your Wardrobe…..Separate your clothes by type. Ideally, you want to have three times as many tops as bottoms—the same ratio you see in stores, says Julie Watson, a wardrobe consultant and a former senior director of merchandising for Banana Republic. “No one remembers your pants,” she says. “We associate with people from the waist up.” Watson also suggests a 60-40 balance of staples (timeless, solid-color pieces) to novelty items (prints, funky details). To refine what you need, write down your responses to these questions  What items would make the pieces you own more versatile? (For instance, a polka-dot blouse to perk up a pencil skirt or pointy-toe flats to make cropped pants look less casual.)

·        Do you spend most days in a corporate environment but have a closet full of cheery sundresses? (It might lift your spirits more if you invested in a new suit that makes you feel great.)

·        Have there been occasions (maybe a dressy dinner, a job interview, or a funeral) when you were at a loss about what to wear?

·        Do you need to update any go-to items that you’ve reached for one too many times (say, a pair of overly dry-cleaned black pants, a wool suit with shine marks, or a ring-around-the-collar white blouse)?

Your answers reveal: The only things you should be buying. (Stay strong!)

 

Step 4: Shop Smarter

Take your lists of likes, dislikes, and needs and head to the mall. But before opening your wallet, run through this checklist to determine whether a piece will last the long haul. This may seem tedious, but if it prevents pricey mistakes, it’s worth the effort, right? After a while, you’ll automatically ask yourself these questions.

Will it work with your lifestyle?

·        The more an item costs, the more seriously you want to consider these factors.

·        Where will you wear it? Ideally, this is a place you go every week or month.

·        Does it coordinate with at least three other pieces in your wardrobe?

·        Can you wear it year-round? Imagine it with tights, a sweater, or open-toe shoes.

·        Can you picture yourself wearing it next season? Next year? In five years?

·        Will the effort of hand washing or dry-cleaning prevent you from wearing it regularly?

 

Is it good quality?

This quick inspection is the fashion equivalent of kicking the tires.

Buttons: Give them a tug to see if they’re well anchored, and look for frayed thread.
Embellishments: Steer clear of stretched seams and excess glue around beading.
Fabric: Test if the material is a lint magnet by rubbing it with a fluffy white knit.
Lining: Make sure it lies flat, without bubbling or poking out from underneath.
Pattern: Eyeball plaids and stripes; they should line up perfectly at the seams.
Seams: Check that the stitches are small and straight—no loose or jumbled threads.

 

 

 

Step 4: Shop Smarter

Does it fit and flatter?

In the dressing room, be merciless.

1. Look at yourself from all angles.
Pay attention to often overlooked areas.

Shoulders: The seams need to align with the tips of your shoulder bones.
Bust: The garment should lie flat against the body without pulling, puckering buttons, or bubbles of excess fabric.
Waistband: If it bunches up when you add a belt, it’s too big. Muffin top? It’s way too small. Find a happy medium.
Rise: This is a tough alteration, so if the crotch is snug or droops low, the item goes directly into the no pile.
Thighs: The fabric should hug curves smoothly, not pinch the backs of the legs.

2. Stand up straight and assess the length. In general, shirts should fall between your waist and hips; long sleeves, at the wrist bones. Pants should brush the tops of the shoes you plan to pair them with (or be alterable). Skirt lengths vary, but a hemline just at the kneecap flatters most body types.
3. Evaluate the give factor of stretchy clothing, particularly jeans. Wear them for 10 minutes or so while you’re trying on tops. If they get saggy, go down a size.
4. Imitate real life. Bend over and sit down in skirts and pants. Do they ride up/pull down/dig in? With jackets and tops, Watson suggests a test she used with fit models for Banana Republic. “Give yourself a hug,” she says, then lean over to “pick up the groceries” and reach up to “ride the subway.” The garment shouldn’t feel constricting or expose your midriff.

Wait! Don’t clip those tags just yet.

At home, try on your purchase with items from your closet and in natural light to be sure it’s truly a good match. Because in the end, the payoff of finding the right fit is worth more than any bargain.