...living with uncertainty

Uncertainty….I have come to the realization nothing is life is for sure…..life as I know it can change in the wink of an eye….poof…everything has changed.  There are no guarantees in life contrary to what we are taught in the fairy tales as a child.  I am sure you know the ones….Cinderella gets her prince charming…they forgot to mention that price charming was an abusive ass who drank like a fish, gambles all the kingdoms money & ended up living on the streets…lol  I know – what a dreary negative way to think about it…but kinda funny  lol.

 

As I reflect on my  life, my choices, the roads I’ve taken…even the roads I should have taken…..woulda shoulda coulda..lol   Some of the choices I made didn’t turn out too well….some I crashed & burned.. others are yet to be determined.. of course there have been choices I made that brought great joy to my life & I am so very grateful that I had the opportunity to make such choices……but if you get down to it..It’s the bad choices that teach us the lessons….or at least they should.  Oh yeah we all know those people who keep making the same bad choices time & time again with the same lame ass results but yet they wonder where they went wrong…they haven’t learned a thing.

 

So now…at almost 50yr old I am looking back & trying to identify and or figure out lessons learned…it’s funny how some lessons ya learn right away while others take time to learn & then there are those that you think you learned the lesson, but in fact the lesson you thought was the lesson wasn’t even the real lesson…whew….talk about a mouth full..lol

 

As I think back …there were so many twists & turns in my life…and it scares me to say any of those events that occurred were mistakes and or regrets….if I do – does that take away from the good things I have in my life now?  After all..if I would have taken a left turn instead of a right turn or went in as oppose to out…my entire life would be different….I wouldn’t have my hubby, or my kids etc.  So I wonder if there is indeed a master plan out there for all of us…am I where I am suppose to be?  Do we all eventually find our way…..hmmmmmm

 

I have to say I am not proud of all of my life choices, but I do own them..good bad or otherwise….the choices I have made allowed me to meet so many wonderful people, travel to beautiful locations, experience other cultures, have  a loving supportive family…plus so much more.  I have learned more about my own strengths and weaknesses than I ever thought possible, I opened myself to healing which of course is an ongoing process. 

 

In the end ….there are no guarantees  in life, you can’t plan ever little detail & expect it to work out perfect…you have to live in the moment, enjoy the simple things every day, love with every ounce of your being, laugh as much as possible…life is a messy crazy beautiful disaster…..I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

 

Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.  ~Dan Millman