May you look in the mirror & say “I love you. I appreciate you”
…looking at my refection in a mirror..I means really looking at
myself is hard to do…it amazes me that I readily open my heart to the moment
& strangers…bit to open my heart/eyes to “me” is a struggle…let along say
& feel “I love you”
…since I was you fitting in has been so important…I felt like I
had to dim my light…become less enthusiastic..Less effervescent so I wouldn’t
stand out…so I would blend it…I know its hard to believe…at this point in my
life that I wanted to blend in…lol
…I accommodated everyone’s request in hope that I would feel
their love..and gain inner peace I so desired.
The charade I lived for so long….sometimes I still live it. I was afraid
to listen to myself…catering to others opinions …feeling less than or not
enough…squelching my own dreams …for what I thought I was suppose to or what
expected to do…living an ordinary life all while I knew there was an extraordinary
one someone inside of me.
..we all write our own story every single day…I try…at least I
think I try…to live a mindfully present in the moment….my life can be as truly
magical as I want it to be….life is not a struggle…or a series of obstacles to
overcome…yep some days…weeks…months…even years are a real bitch…but until that
moment that I realized the peace..love… joy & gratitude are already within
me..they were all along…I just never tapped
into them…I was afraid of myself.
…now as I face 50..I still struggle with my refection in the mirror….I
am not quite ready to fully & unconditionally love myself….I am a work in progress…I
am committed to heal my hearts wounds..expand my perspective…grow & blossom
into a woman who can say “I love you” to myself not merely with my words……but
in the way I live my life.
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