Sunday, April 21, 2013

...holding myself back

 I have had alot of emotional junk swishing around in my head. ( Does the emotional junk start in our head and go to your heart or....does it start in your heart and end up in our heads? hmmmmm..

.... something I am struggling with....actually to be honest I think ...nope.... I know it has been a struggle for me for a long long time....for most of my adult life I could be the poster child for the "I'm not good enough" if feeling inadequate was an Olimpic event.....seems to be the undercurrent of my existance as I know it.....its my dirty little secret...and have let very few in on it....if by chance they figure it out on their own...as in all emotional uphevals within me...I run...I hide...its been my m-o for as long as I can remember....its a learned habit...in my hear removing myself from it is a way to protect myself.....yes it is the easy way...
I am sure I am not the only gal who lives a life of silent defeat....its so easy to get caught in the cycle of the "I'm not good enoughs"...ouch...its true...its hard not to be overwhelmed & overtaken by our inadequaticies....its hard to leave that mindset if you beleieve it's true about yourself.

hmmmmm...fits so many aspects of my life.....you would think with age all those insecurities would go away....

 
 
 









 


 

 


 











 




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