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Thursday, October 3, 2013

‘Act without expectation.’ ~Lao Tzu


….one thing in my life that causes the most stress…frustration…disappointment…anger…..irritation…and  my general pissed-off-ness….is the result of one thing….one big ass hairy thing…but never the less…one thing……EXPECTATION…..I like almost everyone else builds these thoughts in my head that inevitably turn into expectations……expectations of the way things should be…the way people should behave and or act…how they should feel or respond to any certain situation…..it’s like a little perfect fantasy world in my head…..which of course is so far from reality….and we all know….fantasy is so far from reality…..

 
…it amazes me that this  eleven letter word causes so much havoc in my everyday life..my relationships and myself……EXPECTATION..can be such a killer of off things wonderful…just sayin.   Unmet expectations are a huge source of disappointment…..whether you know it or not you enter every situation with an expectation of a specific outcome……a text message….a phone call….marriage..job..kids…life in general…..are filled with expectations….what happens when the outcome falls short of the expectation….negative emotions surface…we lash out……in one way or another we do

...most of the time we get so used to having expectations that we don’t even notice……how often do you use the word “should”……I for one use it all the fricken time…..I should do this…I should do that…shouldn’t they feel this or that way.…should should should…..that little words can cause big ass trouble….especially when the expectations is about another person’s behavior….which is way way outta your control…..might as well skip the interaction & jump smack dap in the middle of disappointment.

….why do we expect others to act like us….we expect them to live up to our standards & have similar vales……when they don’t we are shocked & appalled….disappointed & hurt…its seems like we set ourselves up for this misery…..we have no right to be upset when folks fall short of “our” expectations…..in reality – our expectations are just that  - OURS…….so any disappointed and hurt our expectations create – we need to own it.

…I wonder what life would be like if we had no expectations….just let life happen as it will & be open to the outcome…no matter it happens to be…accept reality as it is…people as they are without expectations…..without judgment …don’t beat ourselves up if we fall short of our own expectations…. .ideally that would be the way to live……but we all know that just ain’t happenin…

…how do we keep our expectations in check…..is it really possible to make a conscious effort to have an open mind no matter the situation…..welcome the unknown instead of running from it…..letting go of the control you so desperately seek…letting go of your need to control the outcome….I think the secret to expectations is being realistic…..which may be a bit difficult…at least for me….

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