Signs
You've Grown Up
Your house plants
are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a
twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food
than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m. is when
you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your
favorite song on an elevator.
You watch the
Weather Channel.
\ Your friends marry
and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
You go from 130
days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater
no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
You're the one
calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down the
stereo.
Older relatives
feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what
time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance
goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog
Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
Sleeping on the
couch makes your back hurt.
You no longer take
naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie
is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of
chicken wings at 3 a.m. would upset, rather than settle, your
stomach.
You go to the drug
store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy
tests.
A four dollar
bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
You actually eat
breakfast food at breakfast time.
You tune into the
easy listening station...on purpose.
"I just can't drink
the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never gonna drink that much
again."
Ninety percent of
the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
You no longer drink
at home to save money before going to a bar.
You read this
entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to
you.
~unknown author
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