..my very first relationship was with my mom…although I don’t remember the day we met…lol…I do know our relationship has changed over the years, we have had our ups & downs…one this that has not changed it the bond we share. When I was 5 my mom was a goddess, I smeared lipstick on my face, models her clip on ear rings and walked around in her high heels…wanting to be just like mommy. At 13 suddenly my mom became an alien…she drove me crazy as I did with her….. as I grew up and life circumstances took over our relationship changed….I strived for independence & my mom just wanted to be part of my life….by the time I hit my 30’s….I was having daughters of my own…I think for the first time I was able to see my mom in a different light….for the first time I was able to see & feel exactly how my mom felt when she looked at me…through my daughter.
No relationship is as primal as a mother daughter duo. I think as we daughters mature and experience life we come to the realization our mothers are a great source of power & fulfillment and helps us to identify & most importantly understand ourselves…. both want to be supportive of each other; however are confused by each other…as a mother I have always placed a lot of emphasis on my daughter….as I become more self aware, and am learning to accept myself….. I realize my daughter is her own person & I need to empower her to be the best version of herself she can be. Not live my life through her..but with her simultaneously.
The best gift a mother can give a daughter is permission to be herself….its hard not to get caught up in trying to make your daughter into something she is not….I believe it is important to allow our daughters to find their own internal compass…..how sad for a mother to force her daughter to be something she is not…in turn the daughter scarifies .who she really is to please her mother.
I have to say…with all my mothering mishaps…my daughter is an independent & strong willed young lady, who is good & kind – she has compassion & understanding of other people….I look forward to seeing her blossom into a force to be reckoned with…as she matures and moves in her own direction I will empower, encourage & support her in whatever direction her life takes her.