Cher - Woman's World [OFFICIAL HD MUSIC VIDEO]

It's So Audrey! A Style Icon

BBC News -Fashion rebel_#039; Katharine Hepburn celebrated

Cyndi Lauper

.......style

.....yes I admit it...I spend a lot of time thinking about fashion.....its has been my passion for as long as I can remember.....I have never been afraid to try anything....sequin tube tops w/ satin pants & a bow tie......to sweater leggings  and an oversize denim shirt......I think is for sure when it comes to fashion I have been all over the place.....some were huge mistake while others were just ok and then there were the times when I hit it out of the park & rocked it....now in the midst of my wardrobe downsize  plan....I have really had to think about

 my style....signature style if you will.....what do I feel & look the best in at all times......

 

.....it seems the best way to give people a taste of the real you is to  make you you are true to yourself.....create a look all your own....only wear what you truly love.....dressing with style takes a lot of strategy...especially now that I am 50 ...I think it is time to fine tune my look...streamline it so I feel confident & elegant in whatever I wear....that’s my goal.

 

......so as I am cleaning out my closets...I am only keeps items I love....items I feel good wearing......I have to say...it seems like I am drawn to very similar things.....so I am think...hmmmmm....who would be  my style icon......who’s style to I seem to emulate.....I have been thinking about this off & on for awhile...there are several out there...but I seem to be drawn to a few......

 

......I really like the edgy rock & roll style of Cyndi Lauper.......not her 80s style...her current style.....she seems to wear a lot of black.....some leather...not afraid to take changes but yet age appropriate  & funky...I like that a lot.......she is my fav....really like the way she rocks it!

 

....another gal who really knew her stuff was Katharine Hepburn.......what a style icon....in a time when ladies sported demure dresses...Kate opted to ear men’s trousers..jackets & button front shirts...talk about breaking social & fashion barriers.....her androgynous has inspired the fashion world.  I love her classic look.....there is nothing sexier than a gal in a white button up shirt...

 

...fitted Capri pants...ballets flats & turtle necks....pearls.....elegant...simple and classic style of Audrey Hepburn......another one of my favs... is there anything better than a little black dress??? 

 

...somehow....my plan to to combine the style of these three style icons & create a signature style that screams .....Lisa.

 

RIP Cinder ~ You will ALWAYS live in our hearts

Tribute To A Best Friend

Sunlight streams through window pane

unto a spot on the floor....

then I remember,

it's where you used to lie,

but now you are no more.

Our feet walk down a hall of carpet,

and muted echoes sound....

then I remember,

It's where your paws would joyously abound.

A voice is heard along the road,  

and up beyond the hill,

then I remember it can't be yours....

your golden voice is still.

But I'll take that vacant spot of floor

and empty muted hall

and lay them with the absent voice

and unused dish along the wall.

I'll wrap these treasured memorials

in a blanket of my love

and keep them for my best friend

until we meet above.

~Author Unknown

...live everyday with grace

...something to think about

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

           ~Mark Twain

Cher - Alive Again (Official Music Video)

.......forgive

.....can you forgive? 

...forgiveness is such a powerful affirmative part of humanity.......the healing power of forgiveness allows us to truly move on.....seems like there is so much pain in this world..... struggles of people on a daily basis....seems like everyone out there had some one to forgive..or needs to be forgiven....truth is past wounds can infect the present

.....seems like when you are hurt by someone the easiest & safest thing to do is carry a grudge....you spend your life as the walking wounded & your past becomes your present......we are all wounded....inn one way or another....these wounds can determine the way we feel about ourselves for our entire lifetime....

.......I must forgive.....the only way to break free is to forgive......holding on serves no good purpose...going into this I know forgiveness is not an easy process..but it is one that will change my life..for the better...its long past time that I free myself from all the negativity of the past 

.....forgiveness is very much like grieving... several

stages...denial....anger..depression...finally acceptance......I don't think the stages are in any particular order......one stage may take longer than the others.....its has taken me year to get to the acceptance stage......

I was so caught of in the anger & depression that I could not find my way to accept what it was & accept that fact that my only real choice ..for me ...forgiveness...the only way to move on..reclaim my life...my self.

.....forgiveness is ultimately a gift to myself..it allows my wounds to heal...for me forgiveness is a process rather than a destination....its a way of distancing myself from victim-hood & embrace the happiness I deserve

.....I know more than anything my hubby wants my forgiveness....but really forgiving is more for my benefit than his...life is a course in life...sounds funny...but  its so damn true.....we are taught by our experiences....no textbook can teach us how to live.......dealing with the fact that life is unfair......embracing the life I have now is the only healthy was to move forward.....in order to move forward....FORGIVENESS.

...forgiveness.....does not come easily.....in the end our lives are about the stories we live & tell ourselves.....forgiveness is story about putting the past in the past & letting go with an affirmative change in our heart...living our present & our future.

Cher - Love Hurts [Official Music Video]

.....dignity lost

....living with an angry hubby is like living near a volcano.....like being in a constant state of alert...expecting it to blow at any time.....even a small outburst would throw you out of whack....at some point along the line I became sick & tired of the blow-ups...sick & tired of feeling I had to walk on egg shells in my own house......if anything went wrong in his life...his career...his world..he would take it out on me & the kids........the yelling.....the put downs...the control he had to have over me....the swearing.... the silent treatment.... the pouting.......no matter what I was ALWAYS wrong........it was ALWAYS my fault......no matter what issues I addressed he somehow turned it around to be me me ME! My fault!

...I know that the my hubby felt his anger was everybody else's problem...not his...in his mind I was the reason he spent all those years pissed off all the time.......I did nothing right.....I didn't do nothing like he expected...or demanded......if anything in my life was about me & not him all hell would break loose....he had to have ALL of the attention all of the time......he would put me down in front of people......even make terrible comments about me in the bedroom in public......he would publicly degrade and humiliate me......and laugh about  it....when asked he would reply "I was just joking".....of course the damage was done.......I was worthless in every way imaginable...and he took great pleasure in letting me as well as everyone around know it.

...of course family & friends who knew me for a long time saw the changes in in...questioned his behavior & treatment of me...I in turn blew it off..make excuses ...hide it from them....I was ashamed & embarrassed by his actions....most of all I was ashamed of myself.....for believing what he said about me.   Funny thing was to the outside world.....people who didn't really didn't know us...thought we were the perfect couple.....our lives seems good......I learned early on to cover up my tears with a smile.

......for a long time.....I admit I still struggle with it.....I blamed myself for making my hubby behave in such an angry manner......I had my self convinced if I was thinner...sexier....quieter....better in bed.....less out spoken.....kept a cleaner house...spent less money...avoided friends & family......in other wards...stop being me......then we would be happy.


...in order to cope with my unhappiness I focused on anything and everything except for me....I ate to comfort myself...then would be pissed at myself because I would think if I were thinner.....or if I were....blah blah blah.......whatever.......it was a very very VERY lonely existence......with a smile.

......I don't know what I did or didn't do to deserve this treatment......in my mind I did deserve it...I wasn't worthy of a loving..nurturing...mutually respectful relationship.... even though I longed for it desperately........as did my hubby.....he just didn't know it....I guess when you know better you do better....how can a person say I love you in one breath & program fear & self doubt in the other?

...funny thing...up till a couple of years ago I didn't even know this was emotional abuse......I thought it was love.......what else could I think...my previous hubby & my current hubby both told me & reinforced the mindset that I was not good enough..for this that and the other......again.....I had to be at blame.

.....the universe brought me a friend.....a friend who saw everything wonderful about me.....lite a spark inside of me.....I am worthy.....I have alot of goodness.....I am so NOT deserving of the abusive treatment I came to know as the norm.......this special friend saw me for who I was without all that crap that has weighed me down.......thru this persons eyes I saw myself for the first time in a very very VERY long time......I truly believe the universe brought this special  friend  to me at the exact time when I was ready & open for this person.....just like the universe brings what you need when you are ready...its also takes it away when you learned the lesson......I still struggle with that lesson.....but deep down.....I got it.

......I was faced with a decision to save myself & my child from a lifetime of hell.....the time came for me to grow a pair...lay down the law on what I will accept & won't accept.....I will never forgot that day....rock bottom and them some....now two years later....I am so proud of my hubby.....

.....seeing a counselor was his only option....doing some deep soul searching it didn't take him long to see more clearly...his anger had nothing to do with me his wife nor his kids.....that umbrella of anger he carried from childhood...after a few counseling sessions he started to learn his anger triggers & how to redirect them...how to take responsibility for his behavior & his actions....he also did anger management group  classes...he owned his shit...he owned the crap he did to me and everyone...he started to questions his thoughts & actions & realized he had to make amends with his loved ones.....his anger isn't completely gone.....he does however recognize it & deal with it in a much more productive way...

...hurtful words from my hubby can sting long after the words are uttered.........I do know that in order for my hubby to forgive himself & move forward I need to forgive him...and forgive myself.....learning to forgive & forget is difficult...but necessary to for the healing process.....I owe it to my hubby & myself to shift my focus to the positive so we both can begin to heal & forgive & move forward in a positive direction...to rebuild the trust  in our relationship......we are a work in progress.   

I love you MLM!

Cyndi Lauper - True Colors. Excelente Version

....own my life

 

.....I have spent most of my life with the desire to own things as do most people I assume....the one...most important thing we own...I for one never even give it a thought...until now......my life!  ....so much wasted time thinking about that new pair of jeans.....hot new boots...etc that I have never really seriously understood or accepted that fact that I own my life....over the years .....all the ups & downs....taking responsibility was more like placing the blame somewhere or on someone else.....rather than realizing .....I AM THE OWNER & I AM RESPONSIBLE.  

...I owe one person – ME.  I own my thoughts...my feelings...my reactions...my responses...my laughter...my joy...my sadness & sorrow......its all mine......things happen.....people do or don’t do things....but my reaction is all mine....no longer will I or can I use the mindset that “they made my feel” or “it was because of this or that or them”......I control ME...MYSELF...and I.  I have had glimpse of control over the years...but for the most part I gave up my control.....sometimes because I truly thought it was out of my control & others because the pain was not worth it....I had no fight in me....at that time it seems like a small price to pay...but now looking back it was a huge blow to my self.

......ownership of my life means I can do what I want...with fear....its all up to me....I can choose whatever it is I think ...I know I need to do to rectify any situation....my ultimate destination in life is set by me....not someone else..the responsibility for my life....what I accomplish within in found in one person..ME...its time for me to focus on my personal values and desires & live them out regardless of what others do.....not live my life in a vacuum.....time to step up & do the internal work.....be very thoughtful about what I believe...about my values.....morality........they will shape how I will exert ownership over my own life – my own self......identifying...understanding..accepting....allowing these for myself will empower...no matter what the circumstances...these ideas/principles will transcend everything else and enable me to set myself on course.

...seems like an overwhelming amount of responsibility......but also an opportunity to tap into a sense of freedom within..I have one life to live.....this is a job I want...no NEED to take seriously...with diligence..hard internal work...and a lot ton of right decisions...plus forgiveness.....of others & myself...I am sure a deeply fulfilled life is waiting for me.

BNV 2013 Finals Round #4 - Washington D C

Jon McLaughlin - Beautiful Disaster

.....invisible red thread

 

...I have always believed that people come into our life for a reason as do we theirs......I believe the universe has a plan for us all.....there are no chances.....things happen for a reason...we may not get it at the time but in retrospect we experience that ahhhh ha moment.......yes I believe there is an invisible red thread connecting those who are destined to meet...

 

.....do you believe in destiny......most..if not all of us have met people in our lives who have had such an enormous impact on us that they literally changed ...taught us.....enhanced the way we see ourselves......the way we view the world.

 

....I for one have experienced a lot of life’s ups & downs.....in the process I have met a lot of people & spent a significant amount of time with several who I feel that I have had   a connection with...I am lucky to have in my life people I have spent most of my lifetime with....amazing friends I have shared a strong bond since I was a kid....and friends who are like family.....long term connections don’t come easily & nor arbitrarily......there is defiantly a thread that connects us & never breaks..

 

.....if you are lucky you will meet a person who rocks your foundation to the core.......you will be forever changed by the mere existence....energy....and lessons they bring to your life.....is it destiny or not depends on what you believe in.....I believe people come into our lives when we are ready for a specific reason...when we are open.....ready  & able to accept the wisdom & lessons they have to teach us.....just like the Chinese Proverb says is an invisible red thread which ties our destinies together.

 

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance.  The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break. ~Chinese Proverb

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life

... balancing act

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” - Thomas Merton

.....finding a balance is a hard one for me....I am an all or nothing kinda gal....so balance is a killer....how does a gal find balance in life & still achieve what I want in my life........is it all about prospective????  How do you create the life you want & have balance.....?????

....just be

Christina Perri - Human [Official Video]

…winds of change are blowing

 

….changing your life for the better is something that I would think everyone has thought about a time or two…or in my case a trillion…lol …..as I ponder the reason for my existence…..lol…..thats just funny…..I guess in my case..existence refers to what the hell I  do with my life……not talking about the part of me that is a wife, a mother, a sister..daughter..friend..etc……the Lisa part…..who is Lisa …why am I…why am I not…blah blah blah…

...the sad truth is that I have always been what others expected me to be....never really giving my actions or reactions a second thought.......did I allow this behavior because it was easy.....I am sad to admit it.....I have always taken the easy way..in almost every situation.....if it involved confrontation....emotions....effort.....I just went with the flow.....now at 50 I don’t know how to tap into what I really want...how I really feel....what I can allow & what I and sick to death of in my life.......

....so again it goes back to the reason form being.... is it like a seed that is planted in the garden...grows to the fulfilment of its reason of being......of course in my case the seed within  me has been planted with tons of shit over the years.....you would think I am filled with some pretty powerful ....so it my true & authentic self is the seed within me........waiting to bloom...I guess its up to me to water & nurture it.

.....changing my life for the better is answered by finding the real me...my inner purpose....how......how do I tap into the power within & reveal my true self....the struggle I face.......feeling almost stuck in life.....this routine I have fallen into is not satisfying.....my inner voice insists there is more for me out in the universe....

.....there are tons of options out there designed to help kick the birds of doubt to the curb.....they can help ya jump start all the changes you have been promising yourself for years....for me.....it is a solitary struggle...a solitary fix.....I know full well when I face resistance head on...acknowledge it...stroke it...coddle it....there is an inner shift of sorts.....the procrastination monster subsides.....fear & self doubt lessen......the road to self love & acceptance is not gonna be easy....but it is the only way for me to be my authentic self.....whoever that is.....

Sheryl Crow - Always On Your Side ft. Sting

..........gotta blog 2014

Nope… haven’t forgotten about my blog……so many new ideas rattling  around in my whack-a-doodle brain …unfortunately I have not had the opportunity to release my thoughts…life has a way of getting the best of us…..especially around the holidays……normally I have a better grip on the holidays festivities…this year however it beat the crap outta me….and then some. 

….my old knees just aren’t what they used to be I guess……after giving my all to some killer stadium steps…my knees just didn’t recover……until the doc juiced my creaky knees…..within a day or two my knees were new again…..ok ok..maybe not new..but my 50 yr old knees felt 45 again…lol….doc told me to stick with low impact exercise for a while – which was ok because football practice was on hold for the holidays….restarting in Jan…so I was good to go…..In my pea brain I thought my knees would be ready to hit the grid iron head on in Jan……little did I know……

…as turkey day came near I was excited to see my step son, his wife & their two daughters….a family Thanksgiving…..house cleaned..turkey bought..plans made…..then I noticed I started to wobble……not because of my knees…little did I know that the juice the doc shot into my knees would cause me to be hungry  all the flippin time…..I had gained around 10 pounds……within like 2 months…my fat clothes were so damn tight……no matter what I did I could not stop stuffing my face…….

….my house was full for the turkey day holiday….kids….toys…..stuff…everywhere……I tried to stay in the moment…I tried to not allow all the little stuff to bug me….I tried to let things go…like the messy house……dishes …unmade beds……I did..I really did try…….I have to admit it did get the best of me & I broke…..had a temper tantrum…..I love my kids & grandkids…..but maybe I am just getting old & set in my ways……I like a clean organized home.

…the table was set….people arrived…the bird..actually 2 birds were roasting…..and my house was full…I mean FULL of smoke……it was terrible…we had to open windows..turn on fans…..my corn casserole boiled over in my oven…..but in the end the meal was yummy……and nobody had smoke inhalation…..I will admit I was so glad to have my house back to normal & empty….

…….it took me almost a week to get things back to normal….at that point I decided we were going out to dinner at Xmas…no get- to -gathers..no big dinners..matter of fact I also decided I was NOT gonna pull out all of the xmas boxes……I went to the Kroger & bought a $20 3ft tall tilted tree……wrapped it in white lights..red berrys & four ornaments I bought at JoAnn Fabrics 60% off xmas stuff sale……propped that tilted baby up in  the corner on a small table..surrounded it by some of my wooden junk & called it Christmas……I added some ribbon garland too…..I was thrilled with it…my family..not to much…lol  The bestest part of it all was no boxes to dig out of storage – Yippee! 

....all the gifts were opened on xmas eve so we could sleep in on xmas morning....sleep in we did.....we got dressed long enough to go out for xmas dinner at the family buffet.....it was crowded & the food wasn’t all that great but I didn’t have to cook or clean...so it was the best ever...lol  ...the rest of the day was spend in my jammies with the remote in one hand watching all those sappy xmas movies on the Hallmark channel......what a day....

....my tree came down the weekend after xmas.....I packed up one shoe box of xmas décor.......so glad once again to have my house back together.....next event/holiday.......New Years Eve......we had planned to attend a big NYE party.....same one we have attended the past few years.......you know the deal....spend weeks trying to slim down to fit into that sexy show every lump & bump party dress that takes more time to pour yourself into the reduce your waist & firm your butt body shaper.....you know the one with the slit in the crotch so you can pee...but the slit is never big enough & ya end up peeing all over it anyways....whats the point???

......then once you get all your lady bumps tucked in & your panty hose pulled up  & the dress in position you have to stick your feet into a sexy sparkly pair of F@#$ heels that you can barely walk in but they make you legs look awesome.......God forbid don’t take those babies off till you are ready to keep them off cuz there is no way you can get those bad boys back on your swelled achy feet......take my word for it.....

....it takes longer to get ready for a NYE party than the amount of time you are actually at the party.......at midnight ya kiss the one who brung ya and whoever else happens to be there...depending on how damn drunk you are....all before calling it a night & heading to the Waffle House for  a midnight snack...that’s where all the drunk folk hang.....other words affectionately known as my peeps....finally you drag your ass into the house....carrying your shoes...runners in your hose.....piss all over the crotch of your undergarment body shaper........

...then it happens......the overwhelming feeling of awwwww.....the moment that you tear your self out of that bodyshaper...you lady lumps & bumps pop back out....its like taking your bra off after a long ass day.....only 10 times better...........HUGH HUGE SIGH........ 

...this year however.....I just wasn’t into the party thing......actually it wasn’t really the party as the idea of the effort I would have to put into the whole ordeal.......I worked on NYE......so I decided this year I would go for comfort as oppose to sexy........granny panties & all I rung in the new year with my hubby buy my side........it still felt good to come home & take my bra off........lol

....so hard to believe it is 2014...wow.....times sure does fly.  I have been so crazy ass busy with a bunch of nothing I haven’t have time to make any goals for the new year......to hell with resolutions....I like to make goals...they seem way more achievable...maybe it is just in my head...but it works for me....lol