Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Phenomenal Woman
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my
secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a
fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Friday, June 21, 2013
...get nailed
….I see chicks everyday walking around with long
fingernails…I for one admire anyone who sports beautifully manicured fingers……I
myself have been known to indulge in long luscious red nails a time or two…some I
grew & others I bought……I like the way my hands look with long nails… …some
chicks go to the extreme…..while others use their nail art as an
expression of their mood or style….I am not talking about us normal
chicks……..
…I am talking about those chicks that have those super long
somewhat curvy crazy ass nails…….you know the what I am talking about…..how do those
chicks get anything done? Simple
everyday tasks buttoning your jeans…..or tie your shoes…..how in the heck do
you wipe after you go potty???? Can you just imagine…….what am image……I have seen
some chicks with like 18 in fingernails…..how do you clean out from under your
nails – eeek – YUCK!
…so how practical
are long nails………..so I am thinking…….
1. How do you hold your keys
& unlock the door..or start your car?
2. Do you need a personal
assistant to zip your zipper, wipe your who who….etc?
3. Do you wear loafers or flip
flops all the time?
4. Typing must be a real pain….
5. How in the world do you pick
your nose????
….I also
think super long ass nails just might make sexual acts a tad bit uncomfy……but I
don’t know…….all I can say is if you grow or buy fingernails that prevent you
from doing normal everyday things…..why?
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
...going Brazilian
...sounds exotic.....uh..not......if you don’t
know what exactly it means to go Brazilian....lol..here it is.....no pubic
hair...fully stripped..bald....clean as a whistle...every single hair is ripped
away from front to back...unless of course you want a landing strip..lol...that
would be a little patch of hair on the front of your who who...kinda like a soul
patch on a fella..only his is on his chin....no real reason..just looks kinda
cool...lol
...so I am thinking I might wanna fully expose
my southern hemisphere.....and have all hair removed......Whoah! I have lots
of chick friends who wax their who who & I do like to keep things cleaned up
down under...so why not...how bad can it be....I gave birth without drugs...I go
to the dentist.......I can do this...
.....my understanding that no one under 30 has a
bush down under..call it a trend..call it craziness...it is what it is...the
question is...what about cool chicks 50+......I have heard Brazilians are
becoming very popular with women in their 50s......I am kinda weirded out but
totally intrigued at the same time.....talk about doing some serious spring
cleaning...lol.
...I am pretty darn daring..but am I daring
enough to go full Monty & let it rip?......OUCH!
...its all up to interpretation
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
.....gotta leak
....I have talked to many women..runners & non
runners....lots of women have confessed that they wet their pants....some on a
daily basis....I guess some men do the same..some women experience a slow
trinkle..others a gush..... we all have had such a big laugh that it ran down
our leg.....or what about a cough or a sneeze that caused you to wet
yourself....everyone has done that...especially if you are a woman who has given
birth.....just know that if you are a pee-er when you run.....or do anything
that causes you to pee in your pants you are not alone.....there are many
pee-soul-sisters out there.
...so in my quest to tap into my inner runner I
have one constant concern..... why does this happen & what can I do about
it? Why is it that when I run I have to pee? Duh..I have to pee..Haha.....I
have had two babies....so lord knows my who who is all stretched out of
whack.....my pelvic muscles are not what they once were....age...being over
weight..tilted bladder...injured urethra....medications...are just some of the
reasons a chick maybe a pee-pee-pants on the run...
...so what do ya do.....firm up your pee
pee....KEGELS KEGELS KEGELS BABY! ......strengthen your pelvic musclles &
sphincter - bonus....your fella will thank you...wink wink.....I have to wonder
how many kegels I would have to do to return to my touched for the very first
time status...lol......you can do kegels anytime anywhere...driving your
car...at the Kroger...I am doing them right now!
...in the meanwhile till all that kegeling kicks
in..what do ya do when you are on a run & ya have to go??? ....do you wear
a pad or let it drip..I have talked to several chicks & most of them wear a
pad when they run or exercise.....I know its not so comfy..but the alternative
is having a wet soggy who who.....who wants a soggy who who...unless of course
its intentional..wink wink...hey if a US astronaut can drive across country in
a diaper...I can certainly wear a pad for a 5k.
...I did some research & the following are a
few things us chicks can do to before we run or exercise......empty the
bladder.....stay hydrated...sounds like an oxymoron to me..but if ya get
dehydrated your pee is more concentrated & it irritates the bladder &
makes ya wanna pee more....so keep your pee clear ladies! ...wear a
pad......not the regular period pads..ya need to get one of those Poise
pads....be sure to use a little Aquaphor to avoid the chaffing – eeek! Carry a
towel to sit on in the car on the way home...certainly don’t wanna smell up your
car.....most important...learn to laugh about it...you are not the only chick
out there who pees her pants.....are you sure those wet sweat marks on the
others runners clothes are sweat..........LOL
...family
.....right now I am riding shot gun on 90 somewhere in NY heading home from
a whirlwind visit to VT. ...on the ride home I have had time to reflect on the
trip....the feelings leading up to the trip as well as the uproar of emotions
experienced during the visit. Its funny how no matter how old we are when we go
home to family we are that insecure child all over again....I know when I visit
my family in Ohio I have a sense of security & comfort among the
familiar.....some people have spent their entire lives surrounded by their
family be it their parents, siblings and relatives...I started off my adult like
in the same area I grew up...seeing my family on a daily basis....didn’t give it
a thought.....now many years later I have grown to have a greater appreciation
for family......we have lived our lives for the last 19 yrs apart from
family.....there is a major difference in knowing your family in their everyday
lives & only really knowing them on short visits now & then.
...we all create this image or perception of who we think people are...I am
sure that is because of previous interactions..and or comments.....but just as I
have changed...others do as well....so at some point we have to adjust our
perception...open our eyes..listen with an open mind & open heart and hear
what is being said without judgment. At what point in our lives are we really
and willing to open ourselves up to others..to their ideas..their
thoughts..their fears? I have to say I think there are many many people..myself
included who feel they are open to others...but in actuality they are not....at
some point we have to be able to see farther than ourselves to feel &
understand others feelings.....I am proud to say after many years of
denial...resentment & sadness....I am there....its been a long emotional
road...life is way to short to be any other way but open..loving &
authentic.
...my relationship with my extended family has been somewhat
distant....emotional distant...reasons...not really sure & at this point
..does it really matter..NO...what matters is that I re-discovered what I always
knew but never was open to or allowed.....I am truly blessed by a wonderful
caring extended family......who have welcomed me with open arms many
times.....but due to my self absorbed attitude I was never really open to their
love & acceptance....what a waist of time on my part.
...I have yet to figure out what was so different about this
trip...actually the difference was me...I opened the door to a better connection
of sorts...an understanding....an acceptance.....most importantly a closeness
& openness ......it’s a great feeling....I can only hope they too feel as I
do.....
..it has been a year of pain..change and most importantly of growth within
each of us.....coming to terms to what is real in our lives...what is
important....how we create our own heartache...antartd happiness....I do believe
the relationship between kids & their parents no matter how old or mature or
experience we think we are is sometimes a difficult one....the choice is
ours...do we allow it to fester....or do we open a line of communication..shed a
few tears and laughs and create a new more mutually fulfilling
relationship.....we (hubby, daughter & myself) chose to open ourselves up to
a beautiful new relationship with our family.
We enjoyed VT & our family more than ever – Thank you ALL! We love you
ALL!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
......dissonance in your life?
..it is so hard to be truly authentic when you
have so many different sides to oneself...on a daily basis I wear several
different hats.....sometimes not knowing who I really am or what I really
want.....do you ever find that your actions don’t always align with what you
really want...its like living double lives.....
...then there are those folks who appear to have
it all together...we assure ourselves that they indeed have the perfect
lives......but is it real? Somehow I don’t think its the case....I
wonder......seems to be two types out there.....one type knows what they want
& does it......while the other type spend a lot of time listening to the
voices in their heads...causing then to go around & around in
circles...questions what they really want...or who they are....
..taming the inner freak.....
...control freak that is....
...yes yes yes...I have no trouble admitting I am
a bit of a control freak......I have been extremely controlling from time to
time..let me clarify......controlling isn’t all bad......I am all about being
controlling in the bedroom...I think there are a lot of fellas out there who
would enjoy being controlled by a chick......just saying......but right now I am
referring to controlling things which are either out of my control and or I
have no right to control...it has taken me many years to come to the realization
that controlling people like myself are controlled themselves by the compulsion
of having to do it all & do it all perfectly.....all while beating yourself
up for not being perfect at controlling whatever act or situation....I am still
trying to figure out why & or what was lacking within me to create such a
control freak.
...what matters now is that I ‘m not so much
controlling as I am overly organized.....I am lots happier now...I have no
desire to be domineering......well maybe sometimes..but only when I am sporting
my leather bustier & cat of nine tails.......lol....I am learning to embrace
the art of healthy submission..(not even gonna go there hehe)..there have been
many times in my life when I was or felt I was completely in control....but yet
felt completely out of control. Granted I was married to a GI Joe who was away
most of the time while I took care of everything.....looking back now I think by
doing everything...I used my control freakiness as a way to validate myself on a
daily basis....I loved being a stay at home mom, military wife...I took pride in
our lifestyle and our role in the community...but yet....it always went back to
it really not being my choice....I walked away from my life into a pre-made
military family...I spend many years being angry because I felt my choice was
taken away.....looking back now I would not change a thing.....I really do
think...no I know....in my head all those years I was telling myself....if
I have to deal with the decisions made.....than I am going to control anything
& everything I possible can within our military life restraints.
...I was so in touch with my inner control freak
for a few years after my GI Joe hung up his uniform......I didn’t know any other
way to survive....it was easy for him....I was still running the show....all
along feeling frustrated & taken for granted because I was running the
show...then...out of now where...our circumstances changed......my hubby was
laid off.....I was working .....I expected....thought...demanded.....he do
things around the house.....in the same manner in which I did them...of
course.....like that ever happened...lol.....I think it took me about a year to
really let go of the control....accept that he has his own way of doing
things.....and I had to learn what was important was that things g done...not
that they were done my way.... it was hard...it all came down to me releasing
anxiety & learning to trust....it was the only way for me to find emotional
balance.
...I am far from perfect...I will
NEVER be perfect.....I have no desire or expectation to be perfect....I will
always be a freak of some sort...just less controlling....I like to think of it
as overly organized.....lol...my house isn’t as clean as it once was....there
are dishes in the sink from time to time...and hardwood floors get scrubbed on
my hands & knees one or twice a year as opposed to once a week......but in
the big picture..isn’t far more important to celebrate accomplishments of your
loved ones instead of bitching about the things they didn’t do?!
Friday, June 7, 2013
…no way…I would never……..
..I
hear those words on a daily basis since May 17, 2013…the day I shaved my head…I
blogged about me shaving my head…..but I really never elaborated as to the whys
& the how comes…….
…why…turning
50 was a huge mile stone in my life….almost as though I felt a cosmic shift or
enlightenment of sorts from within….I was preparing to start a new chapter in my life…a chapter in
which I felt for the first time I was coming into my own pre say……a rebirth of
sorts……..after spending many years wandering…I felt it was time….time to tap
into the person I was….the one I kept hidden….once…19 yrs ago after a terrible
loss I cut my hair extremely…I mean extremely short…..I felt I needed to focus
internally as opposed to externally in order to heal my heart. So in a way…at
50.. I am kinda doing the same thing….just not out of sorrow…..more out of
celebration of me.
…going into the whole head shaving thing
my intentions were not to make light of anyone who has lost their hair for
medical reasons…my decision to shave my head was my decision. It has nor has
anything what so ever to do with anyone else….
….it amazes me how people….strangers…men &
women have reacted to me & my bald head…..I have always been very social
& outgoing…..but there is a real change…people are nicer to me…they really
are…..I have to assume it is because they think I am ill……..how sad is that
that people are only nice when they think they person they are dealing with is
ill…..WOW! I went to the DMV on my
birthday to get my plates renewed & a new driver’s license….a few people
were ahead of me in line……we all know that the employees of the DMV have a
reputation of being difficult to deal with & not so nice………well there sure
were nice to me that day…..everyone in line was as well…..people them me go
ahead of the…no shit…I know…hard to believe….I even said no thank you &
they insisted…..the folks at the counter were more than friendly…..the gal
renewing my license asked me not once but twice if I has any illness that would
cause problems driving….she didn’t believe me when she asked me the first time
& I said no. LOL The
fellow who took my picture for my license handed it to me & said that was
the best picture he had taken all day……oh pleeeze……a 50 yr old overweight bald
woman w/ glasses…….come on mister. lol
….people’s
reaction to be being bald is kinda exciting…intriguing & seems to captivate
them….I actually get similar reactions from men & women…in terms of how
they look at me…I think it shocks people..catches them off guard…some seem to
enjoy checking me out while others look away as fast as possible…it is kinda
funny…..women have come right out & asked me if I had cancer…always being polite..but
curious…men on the other hand don’t say a word..not one word…..a friend of mine
the other day said her hubby would divorce her if ever she shaved her head…..I
looked at my hubby & asked him what he thought…..if he ever considered
divorce or even being angry because I shaved my head……he said without batting
an eye….”Your hair is not Lisa, I married Lisa”……OMG – I loved him for saying that…most
of all I love him for who he is & how he loves me…..hair or no hair.
…a
few women have commented that being bald suited me…I have to say I do have a
nice shaped head..lol a couple have even
expressed that they wish they were as brave as me…brave enough to shave their
heads…I know shaving my head was a bold move on my part..but brave….uh no….
being brave never entered my mind…….it has absolutely nothing to do with
bravery…
…it didn’t take me long to recognize
that people got a bit nervous around me….they didn’t know if my baldness was
from a nasty disease..or chemo…..I think if confessed them…..to see me w/o hair
but yet looking healthy, happy & laughing ….not knowing how to interact
with me….the unknown gets ya every time.
..being me…is that so bad?
..what’s wrong with me being me?
..as far back as I can remember my body &
my size have been an issue….my hips have always been a little wider..my butt
flatter….my waist a little rounder….I have carried these feelings with me my
whole entire life….now at 50 I look back & can say that in all honestly
being a curvy gal has not really had a negative effect on my life…..ok yes there were those boys who
passed me by because they wanted a stick thin gal….which I was not…….so in
actuality the only negative outcome of me being “bigger” is what I have done to
myself emotionally….
…so they say with age comes wisdom….I have
learned that confidence in yourself is what makes ya sparkle & shine…..believing
in yourself radiates beauty……like I have said I have “learned “ it…applying it …..well..that’s
another story..
..one of the 50 things I am going to do my 50th
year is to apply what I know to me…myself & I....to the why I think &
see myself…round..curvy..saggy…embrace who I am & where I am at this point
in my life….the most important part…no matter how cheesy it sounds….it’s time
for me to BE ME…..however that it…for right now
I will gladly accept being a work in progress.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
...here's to the boys
......do guys or gals form closer friendships with others of the same
gender.......hmmmmm......a long time guy friend of mine just came for a
visit...I love this fella...over the years we have formed a wonderful love hate
friendship that is awesome...it’s a friendship based on smack you up aside your
head honesty.....we laugh & bitch at each other like we are a married
couple.....what a fun relationship..we stay in touch & I know he would be
there for me in a hot minute if I needed him.
....so I am thinking about friendship.....I have blogged about gal pal
friends...I love them dearly & am truly blessed to have wonderful strong
independent woman in my life.......this time I am focusing on my guy
friends.......can guys & gals really be friends.....I mean REAL
friends...girlfriend kinda friends...only with wing wangs & facial
hair..
...history shows us that between the sexes was basically non
existent....men & women occupied different spheres...we were considered the
inferior sex....LOL...boy did they have that wrong! Times sure have
changed.....now it is just a thing for a guy & a gal to have a platonic
friendship...not to be confused with friends w/ benefits........my my that a
whole different ...and interesting blog LOL
...friendships with the opposite sex have been important to me as far back
as I can remember.....I hardly think I am the only gal out there who has
awesome guy pals...friendship isn’t courtship...there’s no beginning
..middle...or end....I think our culture has problems accepting any friendship
that isn’t based on sex or blood...we all understand and accept romantics
relationships...and we all have the family thing...but for some reason it is
hard for society to accept a man & a woman being “just “ friends...why is
that? Why do we as a society have to sexualize platonic relationships???
...now I will admit I have had guy pals in my life who I wouldn’t have minded
taking them for a spin...wink wink...but a quickie is not worth ending ...real
friendship.
...I have been very blessed to have wonderful, respectful genuine guy pals
who I consider good good friends..they have all played a significant role in my
life......they are true friends.......they would stand by me no matter
what....at times they know me better than I know myself.....one thing I know for
sure...when you have an amazing friendship with someone (male or female) who you
would consider family...stick with that person through thick &
thin....sometimes it is not easy either way.....I believe that people come into
our lives for a reason....sometimes they exit after we have learned what we or
they were suppose to learn....sometimes the friendship gets stronger & grows
into a lifetime........I have AWESOME guy friends!
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