....tea that provides sustenance to the soul

..I find it very interesting that when life is sailing along & things appear to be good I am less in tune with  my feelings & what my heart is open to;  as oppose to when things are dim & bleak….I am more in touch with my feelings & emotions…my heart is more accepting  & caring than any other time…….but yet… when I am at my lowest I am the hardest on myself….I am quick to label myself as bad,  inadequate, a failure, blah blah blah…….but really….when my heart is open…..doesn’t that really reflect what’s within me at my core?  So in actuality I am at my best when I am at my lowest.   Hmmmmmm……..

 

We could learn to stop when the sun goes down and when the sun comes up. We could learn to listen to the wind; we could learn to notice that it’s raining or snowing or hailing or calm. We could reconnect with the weather that is ourselves, and we could realize that it’s sad. The sadder it is, and the vaster it is, the more our heart opens. We can stop thinking that good practice is when it’s smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it’s rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea.”  

~ Buddhist nun Pema Chodron

The tea that Chodron speaks of here is not simply tea one sips, it is the tea that provides sustenance to the soul.

…don’t .compromise yourself

 .if you look up the compromise in the thesaurus some of the words they list are accommodation, adjustment, concession….if you substitute any of these words…or better ..Substitute the sentiment behind these words for the word compromise…….its gives you a much clearer image of …”don’t compromise yourself”…………….here is a question…..what shouldn’t we compromise ourselves for???  

 …compromise….it’s  a fine line…sometimes compromising can actually result in an amazing personal growth….we are all fallible human beings with so much baggage  & our ideas & what we think important ….actually…even who we are is shaped by our families & our life experiences…….not all are for the best.

..it is humbling & freeing to realize that there are parts of yourself that you never realized existed because you  are willing to try something ..or look at something using a different idea or perspective.

 

…so here’s the thing…I fully understand the concept of compromising oneself….I lost myself….or better put….I allowed myself to become lost ..for years….I have seen glimmers of me & know..yep, that’s who I am!...but they didn’t last long & by the time I actually recognized me….it fades & becomes  an illusion.  What I am trying to say is that yes..I know the feeling of NOT relying on myself to be ME.

 …for some reason along the way I allowed myself to compromise who I am & lost my sense of self…I lost the things that make me me….I have no one else to blame but myself…I knew…I felt myself worth, my personal power diminish…..again I allowed myself to become enmeshed in what someone else told, demanded, expected me to be….while grieving the loss of the ME is was.

 

…to lose yourself & who you are…there is a sadness & a longing to return to or reconnect with your former self….is it possible to return to ME…as I was…….I don’t think so…how could it be…..life experiences mold & change us…….change who we were & who we are…..so to return to my former self is impossible……to rediscover who I am now…without compromising myself……..that’s a definite possibility…my  goal………..my plan.

 

 “When you know better, you do better”

~Maya Angelou

Shoe Addicts' Obsession Revealed in Documentary 'God Save My Shoes' | Video - ABC News

Shoe Addicts' Obsession Revealed in Documentary 'God Save My Shoes' | Video - ABC News

……remedy? Hell NO!

…the age old problem of addiction …shoe addiction that is……seems to be unaffected by the economic meltdown…… as did Imelda Marcos…..can a gal ever own too many pairs of shoes? I think not!

..as you should already know I am taking a year’s hiatus from the shopping bug that bit my butt years ago….that being said…..I still think, breath & fanaticize about shoes…..not in a sexual way…..well…the vision of red stiletto heels and a man’s….of never mind……that’s for another blog…lol……I do put a lot of thought in to shoes.    I assume most women do…..I do have friends who own less than a dozen pair of shoes…..which I can’t even fathom….there was a time when I owned around 300 pairs….but now… I have down sized to around 100….that’s a manageable number…lol  

 

…is it an addiction for me…..at times a fetish…..there I go right back to those red stilettos..hehehe…….can I go an entire year without purchasing a new pair of heels?  I am going to try.  Using the seven principals to breaking your addiction….. from The Dr. Phil Show….here are the seven principals adapted to help the shoe addicts  break the grip of their own compulsions.   Enjoy…..

 

~Fashion Statement – UK internet site

1) Acknowledge the purpose.
Does buying shoes numb you to the reality of your dull, suburban life? Admitting the true cause of your obsession is the first step to recovery.

2) Think rational thoughts instead of denial.
On an intellectual level you know that spending £600 on a pair of pointed, cripplingly uncomfortable heels is unhealthy - and yet you continue. Try putting pictures of Victoria Beckham's bunions or Sarah Brown's toes around your house.

3) Use alternative coping skills.
Alcohol and chocolate works for us.

4) Identify your danger zones.
Lunchbreaks, paydays - clearly they must be avoided. FS suggest that should financial circumstances make quitting your job a tad tricky, you instead carry around a picture of some Crocs, or a footballer's wife in Uggs. If that doesn't put you off shoe shopping, nothing will.

5) Make lifestyle changes.
Go barefoot instead. It's good for you.

6) Be accountable and have a support system.
You may need check into a rehabilitative program. So far we haven't actually managed to find one, but let's face it, if you can check into the Priory to cure yourself of racism, shoe addiction should be a doddle.

7) Reward yourself.
Overcoming an addiction can be very difficult, but it can be done. Reward yourself. Hell, why not go shopping for a nice pair of … oh.

The mirror has two faces

.....mirror has two faces...

….does the mirror really have two faces……have you ever seen that movie The Mirror Has Two Faces  with Barbara Streisand?  If you haven’t ….Barbara starts out as a frumpy middle aged college professor who lives with her mother; she meets another college professor who has a theory that the perfect couple does not need to be in love – they need to have mutual interest & respect..No physical contact – no emotional attachment.  Barbara marries this guy & needless to say she is very unhappy & unfulfilled…and falls in love with the guy “her hubby”  & decided that the marriage isn’t working for her….so she transforms her physical appearance into a glamorous sex pot…in the end she gets her man…who was in love with her all along..just in denial…

 

..if ya think about it ..the phrase “a mirror with two faces”  tells me that we all think we see one thing but in actuality want something different……Barbara was happy to compromise her wants & desires for  a man…to be married…..but her true self ….that’s not really what she wants….just took her some time to figure it out.  Haven’t we all been there at one point or another?

.....whats your style???

..there are so many clothing style options out there…but there is nothing quite like having your own distinct style…a unique style that is all yours.  For me..my style…which is still a work in progress..has evolved over the years.  At this stage in my fashion like I like pieces that have multi uses….yea I have made those impulse what the heck was I thinking purchases…..still do every once in awhile…but for the most part I try to stick to the basics….

…all my life I have had a love of fashion….I think back to just a few years ago…I had an overflowing closet of clothes….I bought what I liked with total disregard as to when & where I could/would wear it…..my closet was filled with the only wore onetime items….or never worn w/ tags attached.  In all fairness…I did work at Lane Bryant where I received a discount on everything……of course it was more like  giving discounted drugs to a drug user,….too much is never enough.

…when we returned from CA after my hubby retired I was once again a stay at home mom….a stay at home mom with a ton of clothes…..so there I was will all that crap…..so I went thru my closet & donated 6 lg trash bags of clothes, shoes & accessories…..believe me I still had a bunch.

…as I settled in to my new life in Ohio I got a job working out of someone’s home office…which was great..Very casual..capris & sandals on a daily basis…..not long after that I started working out of my home…which meant ever more casual attire…flannel jammies, T shirts & slippers…….that lasted for 4 years……I would go weeks w/o makeup……I loved it.   Sadly that came to an end & I found myself in the outside working world once again…..business casual no less….. so bring on the dress pants, sensible shoes and plain tops….that was my uniform….until one day my then 15 yr old daughter says to me…..keep in mind I am thinking I look pretty good in my boring office casual attire……she said….what happened to the way up used to dress ? …meaning I dress nice & clean and mom-like….however somewhere I lost that wow factor – my personal style.

…I allowed that to eat at me for awhile…I told myself she was wrong…lol…she wasn’t……time for me to get my zest for fashion back….time to junk on the fashion band wagon I loved……but how..where do I start..I certainly did not want to repeat previous fashion mistakes….so I….

…evaluated my closet …..I went thru everything…I decided what to keep ..what to donate….what looked good..what didn’t.

…with what was left..I took a hard look at those items….tried to figure out what about them did I like…..color, cut, etc….I tried to see if there was a trend…..if I had a lot of similar items. 

…I spent time looking thru fashion magazines….trying to determine..or better yet trying to define the look..or style I wanted to present to the outside world….I am a work in progress….for me the trick is to find a casual comfortable age appropriate trendy stylish sexy  look…..still living in classic styles with a pop…with accessories, funky shoes, jackets & scarves…..a friend recently describes “my look”  as classic rock n roll …I  like that! 

..each of us has to find their own personal look…most importantly you have to be yourself…..you want a look that makes you feel great! ,  

SWV - Downtown

...what type are you?????

….I found this on the internet – I can’t remember the web page – sorry…but this is kinda enlightening……

 There are seven female personality types which one are you?:

The Mummy's Girl
The Daddy's Girl
The Mother
The Sister
The Favourite Aunt
The Flirt
The Wife

There are seven personality types are all within each woman. She has her dominant personality type or even two and one or two others that are not quite so dominant

When you look at the seven types, you will notice that you can relate to more than one. You will recognise your dominant personality type immediately read on to discover your personality type.

Mummy's Girl: She is pretty and feminine; is playful and has a girlish way about her and quite often a baby voice, no matter at what age. She may throw tantrums and can play the role of the spoiled brat or show off in a childish manner. She is easy to influence, lacks strong opinions of her own and loves to please: a delicate creature who brings out the strong protective instincts in both her stronger sisters and males alike. She has a deep-seated mother attachment.

Daddy's Girl: Her intelligence is immediately obvious. She will usually be dressed in the classical style; the epitome of the successful businesswoman or the efficient secretary in her tailored suits. Her straightforward, practical, confident manner, often accompanied by an authoritative voice, is easy to identify.

The Mother: This delightful creature mothers everyone, and in her maternal efforts she is generous, loyal and reliable to her friends. She can show surprising spunk in protecting those weaker than herself (in the way the mother fox protects her young), and is first on the scene when nurturing is required.

The Sister: We all know the independent feminist who fights for her principles and those of her less-strong sisters. She may have a slightly tomboyish air, have short hair and wear very little make-up or, if glamorous, she will still have that fresh, healthy, girl-next-door quality. Full of life, she is daring, challenging and great fun. She is clever and capable of reaching the top of whatever path she cares to follow.

Favourite Aunt: Although she is introverted and prefers her solitude, everyone is drawn to her warmth and inner strength. As a child I loved visiting my aunt, a typical Favourite Aunt. Her house was so pretty; there were homemade biscuits for afternoon tea, beautiful flowers in the garden, and she would set aside whatever she was doing to devote her time totally to my visit. She is most often an idealist, not ambitious, and may be recognised by her off-beat attire. She may appear to lack emotion on the surface but within herself she is highly responsive.


The Flirt: This woman does not have to be beautiful (although quite often she is) to attract the best-looking man in the room. She has a sensual magnetism that can mesmerise the most introverted man; defuse the highly tempestuous fellow and bewitch the outrageous playboy. She seems positively to sparkle in the company of men, but charms women just as effortlessly. The world is her stage on which she plays the leading role. She is gifted with an artistic flair and in a career which allows her creative talents a free rein  is highly successful.

The Wife: Flourishes with a man on her arm; she may even believes that she is nothing without a man. She chooses well; he has to be worthy of her adoration. She is totally devoted to her man, to the exclusion of her friends and children. Although she may have a career it is secondary to her career of marriage and support for her husband. She is very efficient and a great asset to him. Her pleasures are vicarious, she enjoys what makes him happy.
(Extract from Dial A Personality)

Christina Aguilera- Reflection (Mulan)

.....mother/daughter.....

..my very first relationship was with my mom…although I don’t remember the day we met…lol…I do know our relationship has changed over the years, we have had our ups & downs…one this that has not changed it the bond we share. When I was 5 my mom was a goddess, I smeared lipstick on my face, models her clip on ear rings and walked around in her high heels…wanting to be just like mommy.    At 13 suddenly my mom became an alien…she drove me crazy as I did with her….. as I grew up and life circumstances took over our relationship changed….I strived for independence & my mom just wanted to be part of my life….by the time I hit my 30’s….I was having daughters of my own…I think for the first time I was able to see my mom in a different light….for the first time I was able to see & feel exactly how my mom felt when she looked at me…through my daughter.

 

No relationship is as primal as a mother daughter duo.  I think as we daughters mature and experience life we come to the realization our mothers are a great source of power & fulfillment and helps us to identify & most importantly understand ourselves…. both want to be supportive of each other; however are confused by each other…as a mother I have always placed a lot of emphasis on my daughter….as I become more self aware, and am learning to accept myself….. I realize my daughter is her own person & I need to empower her to be the best version of herself she can be. Not live my life through her..but with her simultaneously.

 

The best gift a mother can give a daughter is permission to be herself….its hard not to get caught up in trying to make your daughter into something she is not….I believe it is important to allow our daughters to find their own internal compass…..how sad for a mother to force her daughter to be something she is not…in turn the daughter scarifies   .who she really is to please her mother. 

 

I have to say…with all my mothering mishaps…my daughter is an independent & strong willed young lady, who is good & kind – she has compassion & understanding of other people….I look forward to seeing her blossom into a force to be reckoned with…as she matures and moves in her own direction  I will empower, encourage & support her in whatever direction her life takes her.

....finding my way

 

..what do you do when confusion is all consuming….how do you navigate your path  to reach a place of  peace, direction & contentment….at what point does clarity kick in?  You have to accept the ups & downs of life…everyone experiences them…life is a series of starts & stops…I think once you recognize..we then can better ride of out  waves as they come.  Is this a leaned behavior or a skill….because believe you me it is at times so difficult to ride the waves. 

 

..I have been utterly confused & unsettled for years…actually since I can remember…...I have been mad at myself for not being able to figure out the reason…at what point in our lives do we actually settle into our own skin……it is so hard to accept that I could not find the answers to my restlessness & confusion……it’s like there should be a pill out that when you reach a certain age ya take it & poof  all yourself doubt, restlessness, confusion, etc is gone…you wake up comfortable in your own skin ready to face the world with a no fail attitude.    That is a prescription I want.

 

…don’t ya think we …especially women…get lost in the day to day routine of life & forget to actively move forward in meaningful ways both personally & professionally.  Fear…it’s a bitch…it holds ya back, makes you hesitate to try anything new because you are fearful of failure.. refusing to give into fear & allowing it to stifle your interests & passion  is way easier th said….than done.

 

I certainly don’t all of the pieces of myself in place yet…I am a work in progress……but with each new day I stay on course I get a little closer to who I really am…I am learning to relish in the day to day highs & lows of the process…explore, evaluate and learn..the end result…a better me.

Shania Twain - Man! I Feel Like A Woman

...your panties are showing.... oldie but goody re- post

I see Paris I see France I see someone’s underpants…..…..does yours always match?  …you know what I am talking about…..your bra & panties…..ever notice if you ever see a chick on TV or in a magazine her bra & panties always match..is that real life…..if it is I do believe we  live in a perfect world….however….knowing myself & many other women….I don’t think that’s the case….but I think is should be!  I am so sure there are those ladies out that who only wear “sets”  wouldn’t be caught dead in mismatched bra & panties…..lol….I have to admit….I did tell my hubby if anything ever happened to me & he has to call 911…make damn sure I have sexy matching bra & panties…no matter how sick I am at the time!  LOL

I try to at least co-ordinate my undergarments..isn’t that a great word “undergarment”…it sounds so lady like….but I do try…some days I just don’t care..lol  I am fascinated by the retro undergarments of years past….bullet bra, high brief, tap pants, corsets…I just think the retro look is so sexy..and yes very flattering on anyone.  I own a few items….but for the most part I hang..no pun intended…hand with Lane Bryant..lol

…so let’s talk panties…..it doesn’t matter if you wear bikinis, boy cut, thongs or granny panties…..I think most women share in my logic…..the type or style of out undies vary depending on the situation….first you have your everyday panties….usually they are comfy..a little faded, stretched out…you wear them to lounge around in comfort……..not to be confused with your period panties..these are the ones that fit your bloated stomach, keeps things secure….maybe a little stained from periods gone by…you all know what I am talking about. 

Of course we all own the tummy control panties….these are the ones we wear under our dress slacks to work or jeans….but you never wear them out if you are planning to get laid…..oh no…remember the scene in Bridget Jones Diaries….she was making out with Hugh Grant wearing giant tummy control panties…..oh my!  Kinda zaps the mood..don’t ya thing…… last but not least…well I guess least amount of fabric…the thong….you either love them or you hate them….there are a few different styles to choice from..the string…also know as butt floss….there’s also the elastic kind…and the wide throng…..and the mother of them all the tummy control throng…

.

Yes…. There is such a thing as a tummy control thong……which I can say with firsthand experience….OMG…..here is the thing…..usually if it controls your tummy…folds you budge in it has to be made out of some type of girdle fabric right? That fabric is thick & stiff…remember it has to suck it all in….so picture this….a girdle from and a thong back…the concept sounds great…..no panty line & no belly budge…win win situation…….until you decide to eat dinner….at a buffet no less…..so as you eat…and eat…and eat…..your belly starts to expand and expand…..so let me just ask you were the 1 inch thick hard piece of elastic affectingly known as the thong that was strategically placed earlier in the evening as not to pinch or chafe the hinnie disappears to when the from expands???  Oh yes.  Not only does it lodge itself up the great divide…as you walk is rubs & rubs…at that point holding in my tummy was the last thing on my mind…. let’s just say when you get home & rip this thing from between your cheeks ya better have some kind of ointment to relieve the red chafed area…..lefty behind.   True story!

..I have been thinking.  This is a new year….so why not finally clean out all those holey strained ripped ugly panties and start wearing only the ones the sexy ones…the ones that make you feel hot & desirable…. so what if no one sees them…you know you have them on…..isn’t that all that really counts….

Jennifer Hudson - I Remember Me (Full HQ 2011)

....change

…change is hard….even if the change is for the good, it’s still damn hard.  Sometimes you don’t even know there has been a change till things have changed….every once in awhile you get this overwhelming feeling that something has change or something is about to change.  Sometimes it is very difficult to admit we have changed…….for me any time there is an emotional disconnect – which in turn causes change….it takes me awhile to fully embarrass it.   I am sure there are many others just like me.

 

…a funny thing is that I have spent so much wasted time wishing things would change or I could change….or …here is a good one…..I could change someone else……lol….we all know that doesn’t work…but yet I am don’t like change…...doesn’t that make me somewhat of a hypocrite?  I want change...but yet I refuse to accept change?!  LOL

 

Change comes in many forms….jobs end, people come & go in our lives, friendships run their course, we fall out of love..just to name a few.   As I reflect on my life…..change has always slapped me in the face…..some slaps have been good, some have been out of necessity …some frankly saved my life….and of course there were many slaps that seemed bad at first but opened me up to so many opportunities…so I have to admit in many cases change is good.

 

I have leaned one thing for sure……there are things.. …changes…..out there I have absolutely no control over..i have to let them go…. have to embrace change & make the best of it.  The changes I can control are the within myself..no one else….so bring on the changes…..I am ready.   

Jason Castro - forever in blue jeans Studio Version

...love affair with my jeans

…do you have a pair of jeans on right now?   How about yesterday..or the day before?  I have been having a love affair with blue jeans since before I can even remember…there one item of clothing is more American…not to mention loved by Americans than blue jeans.  Who would have thought that two visionary immigrants in 1873 would turn denim into the phenomenon that it is today….what do you think is the average number of jeans owned by any one person???........7+ pairs…….I do own a few more than that….

 

What makes jeans such a staple in so many peoples wardrobe?  For me….they are my “go to” look…I wear my jeans with everything from heels to blazers to pearls…..jeans are a neutral, dress them up, dress them down…dark wash, acid wash, colored jeans, ripped jeans…...just gotta love them ALL!    

 

Its hard to imagine a world without blue jeans…over time jeans have risen from the bottom of the fashion food chain to the tip top…….. but in actuality  when my mom was young blue jeans were just taking on their popularity High school kids in the 50’s wore blue jeans as a radical way of defining themselves, a way of looking dangerous & rebellious which can greatly  be attributed to the influence of the movies & music.  Less than a decade later jeans became the uniform for young adult baby boomers – the hippy movement waging a generational war.

 

Jeans transformed high fashion in the 80’s with all the designer jeans like Jordache, Sergio Valente…and of course Calvin Klein……who can forget that controversial TV commercial with Brook Shields?   “Nothing comes between me and my Calvin’s”  …that’s because they were skin tight & she had camel toe…lol  …the 90’s saw a little change…of course jeans were still in style…..a new generation started expanding their look from jeans to khakis, carpenter pants…..oh and combat pants…..oh yes I bought off on all those looks at one time or another..lol

 

Now…jeans/denim is everywhere……designers catwalks, accessories, home décor, etc….everything from embellishments to washes to ripped up ……low rise, high waited, slim cut, loose fit……the market offers us unlimited possibilities…who was have thunk it….what .two immigrants started has turned into today’s biggest fashion statement……..jeans have to be the best single item of appeal ever designed….

 

..so what’s in your closet?  I find it to be interesting to hear how we each have our own ideas or philosophy about our trusted friends…yes …jeans.  For instance…….I like mine with a center crease and hung not folded…….in my mind the center crease somehow gives the illusion that I am slimmer than I actually am…lol…at least in my head I guess… if I have dark jeans I like to wash them inside out so they don’t fade……I wear jeans to almost any event at any location….dress them up..dress them down….I love my jeans!

 

I have to admit…I am fascinated by the ripped up jeans trend…..when I was younger of course I wore ripped jean..mostly because they were easy to wear & I have to admit I was lazy & cheap.   Today….at almost 50..yes I do have a few pairs that I bought that yes indeed are ripped…..am I told old to wear them..maybe….but its not like my old saggy butt is hanging out….lol  I kinda like the look…

 

..it doesn’t matter if you like the flare legs, slim leg or boot cut…..there are so many different cuts & styles to choose from…..its a buffet of denim….so I think we should try them all on.

 Love my jeans!

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

...living with uncertainty

Uncertainty….I have come to the realization nothing is life is for sure…..life as I know it can change in the wink of an eye….poof…everything has changed.  There are no guarantees in life contrary to what we are taught in the fairy tales as a child.  I am sure you know the ones….Cinderella gets her prince charming…they forgot to mention that price charming was an abusive ass who drank like a fish, gambles all the kingdoms money & ended up living on the streets…lol  I know – what a dreary negative way to think about it…but kinda funny  lol.

 

As I reflect on my  life, my choices, the roads I’ve taken…even the roads I should have taken…..woulda shoulda coulda..lol   Some of the choices I made didn’t turn out too well….some I crashed & burned.. others are yet to be determined.. of course there have been choices I made that brought great joy to my life & I am so very grateful that I had the opportunity to make such choices……but if you get down to it..It’s the bad choices that teach us the lessons….or at least they should.  Oh yeah we all know those people who keep making the same bad choices time & time again with the same lame ass results but yet they wonder where they went wrong…they haven’t learned a thing.

 

So now…at almost 50yr old I am looking back & trying to identify and or figure out lessons learned…it’s funny how some lessons ya learn right away while others take time to learn & then there are those that you think you learned the lesson, but in fact the lesson you thought was the lesson wasn’t even the real lesson…whew….talk about a mouth full..lol

 

As I think back …there were so many twists & turns in my life…and it scares me to say any of those events that occurred were mistakes and or regrets….if I do – does that take away from the good things I have in my life now?  After all..if I would have taken a left turn instead of a right turn or went in as oppose to out…my entire life would be different….I wouldn’t have my hubby, or my kids etc.  So I wonder if there is indeed a master plan out there for all of us…am I where I am suppose to be?  Do we all eventually find our way…..hmmmmmm

 

I have to say I am not proud of all of my life choices, but I do own them..good bad or otherwise….the choices I have made allowed me to meet so many wonderful people, travel to beautiful locations, experience other cultures, have  a loving supportive family…plus so much more.  I have learned more about my own strengths and weaknesses than I ever thought possible, I opened myself to healing which of course is an ongoing process. 

 

In the end ….there are no guarantees  in life, you can’t plan ever little detail & expect it to work out perfect…you have to live in the moment, enjoy the simple things every day, love with every ounce of your being, laugh as much as possible…life is a messy crazy beautiful disaster…..I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

 

Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.  ~Dan Millman

 

 

P!nk - Glitter In The Air (GRAMMYs on CBS)

...time to un-deck the halls...whew!

……oh yes..The time has come to un-deck the halls…I love that – just too funnyJ  what a job!  I have to admit transforming our house from normal everyday living décor – which I love…to a showplace of holiday cheer and nostalgia is way way more fun than the pull down pack up thing.  

 

After last year feeling so crappy & not even digging out the xmas stuff…I did drag the tree up from the basement & bought a tree décor in a bag set at the Wally-World for like $20….looked nice & yes I reused then again this yearJ ……I decided to do it up right this year…we decided to have a holiday party…so I wanted to make sure our home was filled with the holiday spirit….everywhere….and I mean everywhere….lol

 

I must have 20 red & green Rubbermaid tubs filled with xmas décor…yes I said red & green tubs…lol..pretty impressive huh…..yes I am a Martha Stewart wanna be….I just thought that since we moved so often over the years it would make it so much easier to have our storage boxes color coded…..crazy but smart….so anyways…..I also have had several themes over the years….so I decided that this years I would recycle all previous xmas themes by using one theme in each room….I like it!

 

In my living room I decided to do homespun…tree #1 was a small table top tree with country ornaments, pinecones & cinnamon sticks….I carried that look over to my windows as well…..My dining room…trees # 2-4 as well as my buffet, window & table were decorated in gold……tree #5 was in my bathroom…I used natural twigs & pinecones with greenery & sheer burgundy ribbon….I carried that them out to my staircase railings since they are right outside the bathroom door….tree# 6 was in the “Man Cave”…Mitch set it up…he used our collection of Military ornaments we have collected over the many Army years……tree #7…..our biggest & our main tree was in the TV room beside the fire place…I recycled the Wally-World plastic ornaments in red & silver….and since my kitchen is connected to the TV room I cared the red & silver throughout.

 

I was thrilled with the way the house looked…..and of course Mitch put us a few outdoor items….the evening of our holiday party the house smelled of cinnamon….I love to entertain….i especially love to  put out a nice spread..Must be the Italian in me because I sure do like to see people eat..lol   I decorated the tables to coordinate with the decor of each  room…I used the kitchen table as the dessert take…..the counter/bar as the appetizers, and punch bowls….Mitch made an xmas punch…laced & unlaced..lol …the dining room table & buffet for the main courses & salads…..I have to say I made a lot of food & friends each brought something to share – no one went hungry that night!

 

We also asked each person to bring a $10 wrapped gift for a Chinese gift exchange…..which was a fun idea – it was funny watching what gifts were opened & which ones were taken away..I think we will do this again next year if we decide to ring in the holidays with a party.

 

I think that fun was had by all…however come to find out the next couple of days several guests were sick…I thought OMG it was the food...I felt so bad but was relieved to hear it wasn’t from out party foods at all...it was a bug going around…whew!!!

Alicia Keys - Brand New Me

...and the fashion challenge begins...

Today I decided to visit the thrift store....as you know by now I have decided to do the Thrift Store Fashion Challenge for 2013.... in previous years I have spent tons of $$$ on fashion...just to donate or give it away......after reading about the challenge I decided I could sooooo do this.  There are certain things I refuse to buy at a thrift store...undies..bras..swimsuits..socks.....everything else is fair game.

......so today at the local thrift store I did pretty well......I bought a brand new Vera Wang
top for $8.99... 3 pair of Lane Bryant dress pants @ $2.99 ec...... Anne Klein sweater $1.99......a leopard T $1.99.......2 longer sweatshirts for $1.99ec.......and the best.....a Relic handbag with the the price tag still on it $89.99.......I paid $24.99.    I think I did pretty good.  After they have been washed... I will add them to my current wardrobe.  I think they are going to be a great addition....can't wait to show you ! 

...so for a little more than $50 I bought 9 things!  Yippee!  I loved it...I am sure there will be shopping days when I find nothing...but the excitement is in the hunt .......and looking good on the cheap!

Christina Aguilera - I'm a Good Girl (Burlesque)

who is more obsessed with women’s boobies…men or women?

…tits, boobies, jugs, hooters, melons,  headlights, ta-ta's,  the girls……who is actually more obsessed with women’s boobies…men or women?   The quick & easy answer would be MEN!  Men's boobie obsession is clearly sexual. Women's boobies are among men's favorite sex toys. But it's hard to know exactly where women's boobie obsession comes from. Men certainly play a role.

 

Fashion also plays a role in women's boobie obsession. From the  torpedoes boobies in the 1950s to the small, adolescent chests of today's top models, boobies have changed..fashion  designers generally favor a petite chest, but seems like everyone is getting a boob job…lol.

 

I come from a long line of big bobied women….I have to say I feel pretty lucky…can’t really remember if I have always felt good about the big girls…..but one thing is for sure…as I age my high beams are pointing down….its a terrible joke that gravity plays on women…damnit!  It pisses me off when I see ladies my age with nice perky boobies…….I soooo would love to have perky boobies.  I was telling a friend That I would like to get my nipples pierced…..she told me if I get both done I could us a chain from one boobie around me neck to the other boobies…at least they would be perky…lol

 

A few months ago…while visiting a friend…..who has great boobies…. So we were doing the girl chat thing & I said….your boobs look great…what brand of bra are you wearing???  She pulled her shirt up….btw…anyone that knows me..knows I will talk about anything & ask about anything so looking at her boobies was no biggie….lol  but her boobies were biggies!!!  ………anyways…she told me her boobies used to be very saggy…then she started taking this natural supplement that made her boobies bigger, rounder & less saggy….and it worked! 

 

You all know what the next words where that came flying out of my mouth….what’s the name of the pills, where do I get them & how soon do they start working????  So….you all know what I did…yes I orderd some…they came yesterday…I took my first pill this morning…yes I checked with my doc first.  I am just waiting for these big girls to perk up…lol

 

So here’s the scoop…..I am NOT promoting nor am I advertising this product……I am just telling you what I am taking & I will let you know my results.  The pills are called Bust-BOOM…..

 

From the internet……… Bust Boom Overview

Bust Boom uses phytoestrogens occurring naturally in plants to stimulate estrogen receptor sites and promote healthy tissue growth. These phytoestrogens also work to regulate the presence of hormones in the body, which may also lead to a clearer complexion and relief from PMS and menopausal symptoms. These phytoestrogens include Cnicus Benedictus, Cimicifuga Racemosa, Tumera Diffusa, Taraxaci Herba, Foeniculum Vulgare, Serenoa Repens, Nasturtium Officinale, Dioscorea Billosa, and Dong Quai extract.

The recommended dose is just 1 pill each morning. You should feel it working (a tingling sensation in the breasts and/or sensitivity of the nipples) in the first week. In 4 to 6 weeks, you should gain a cup size. In 10 weeks, you may gain up to 3 cup sizes, at which time you should lower your dose to 1 pill per week for maintenance. If you’re using Bust Boom to control acne, you can take an additional pill each night for a total of 2 pills per day.

 

…….so I hope to have two big full perky boobies in a few months……time will tell…..updates to come….

 

For Good

....friendship

Don't walk behind me...I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of me...I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
~Albert Camus

 

….friendships play a major role in our lives whether we can admit it or not.  As of late I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of friendship  & how important they  are…I am very blessed & hold sacred those special relationships I have formed over the years.

 

  ….it’s amazing the terrific impact on my life and though I've known some friends for only a short time, it feels, sometimes, like a lifetime.

 

……speaking of a lifetime friend…..I am so fortunate to have had one very meaningful friendship for…hummmm…we met in kindergarten…..so that’s  42 years…damn!   WOW!  I so believe I am who I am because we were friends & partners in crime. This week is a huge milestone for her… my friend turns the BIG 50! No matter where we are in our lives….when we are together or talk  we are right back where we were so many years ago.

 

….friendships are so many things to so many people and can be different for everyone and in every relationship. As we get older, good friendships are harder to find, but, for this reason, I think it is even more important to cherish and celebrate our friendships.

 

…..I've been fortunate enough to have friends by my side, journeying with me down the winding, curving roads of life's highs and lows. The past years have been filled with change and transformation for me and I couldn't be more grateful for those who have been beside me, supporting me -- for those who are my friends.

 

….because of my friendships, I have been changed….that's the glory of friendship -- even those that seem wasted …they make you better….they change you. We often think about this concept in relation to romantic relationships. We tell ourselves that a broken heart will make us stronger, better, but what about a broken friendship? It does the same thing. We can see the good in it, the positive, even when it doesn't seem like there is any….just think of all the wonderful, inspiring things we learn from all of our  friends on a daily basis!

 

….friendships come &  go. Some are for life, some are only passing, fleeting moments that we share with other people, but all of them change us. They change us for good, and many change us for the better. I am so fortunate to be in the company of such amazing people in my life. I am so lucky to have friends that love me, challenge me, teach me, push me, and want the best for me. Every day my friends change me without even knowing it. Every day they make me better.

 

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Well, it may never be
That we'll meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

"For Good"
from Wicked

 

 

“We are all connected in ways we cannot even begin to fathom. Our lives unfold through each other and within each other.” ~David Rhodes

 

 

 

Enya - Only Time (video)

...what was I thinking?????

...I wasn't ...that's the issue.   Well at least I waited till day 2 of 365 to possibly  screw things up.  That could be a new record...yes I have a very bad habit of acting without thinking....maybe acting without paying attention to what I was doing would be a far better description.

Why is it that I am always conscientious of  other's feeling, never want to hurt, embarrass or humiliate anyone......I am easy to forgive & always take the others persons possible reasoning for their actions....always try to think the about their good side..yes at times it is a struggle....by yet when it comes to me......when I screw up...when I mess up...I am my own worst enemy?!

Is it that I hold myself so such high unreachable standards? If that is in deed the case...why the hell do I do that? What makes me do carry myself in such a manner?  I spend more time beating myself up for what I did, what I said, what I should have done, what I shouldn't have done....its down right crazy....is it a self worth issue..... I don't know how to stop it.

.....to make things worse....the whacked out chick I am.....thinks about the repercussions, or possible repercussions of my actions...gets pissed at my self...embarrassed  & humiliated.....what do I do...well of course I retreat.....run away..hide....running is my forte..if there is any kind of emotional upheaval I am outta there.  Oh yes....I apologize till I am blue in the face...I shed buckets of tears....I analyze and analyze and analyze my actions...my thoughts.....my tears.......all with the same result....walk away. And of course...people are always gracious & say no worries...all is good.....no harm no foul......but for me......

....my struggle is never owning up & taking responsibility for my actions....its allowing myself to say..its ok.

Halestorm - Here's to us

btw....so sorry about the F words.....I wanted to post this song because at first I thought it was about a relationship between a man & a woman...but really it could be about any relationship....between friends & family..with bumps along the way....Here's to Us! 

Day 1 of 365......

I was lucky to be surrounded by my hubby, good friends & some new friends when I said goodbye to 2012...and HELLO 2013.  I wonder how many people made New Years resolutions.......we all know they seems to only last a few weeks....we have all experiended that....lol   I think we all make resolutions that become overwhelming & we attempt to go from 0-60 ins such a short time...yes....I am an all or nothing kinda gal...I know all to well about the 0-90....and then I slam on the breaks & abandon my resolutions.....usually within the first week.  LOL

Maybe its time to rethink our New Years Resolutions.....what if we refocus...what if instead of a New Years Resolutions...why not change the way we approach life? Rather than setting some huge....somewhat unattainable goal.....set our sights on creating & maintaining healthy emotional & physical habits that will stay with us throughout 2013...and beyond.


Slowly work new lifestyle choices into our everyday lives & activities & then build upon them as the year goes on.  Maybe set weekly  or monthly mini-goals...most important..celebrate lifes little victories along the way.

Big changes start with small steps.......I have my big girl panties on & I am ready to start stepping.


 My mini goals for this week...the fist week of the year (short week).......

Close out anything from 2012....budget, calandars, desk, etc.......start 2013 with a clean & organized slate.

Happy 2013 to you!